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my poem book *trig* maybe

For poetry, art, writing, music - your own or others'
feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:38 pm

Life

I waste away my brain cells to deal with the pain
The pain from within a pain with no name
And with a pain with no name, how do i catch it?
Like a finger with no prints it runs around making mischief.

It's tearing me down like a cyclone in the city
Lost in the darkness when there ain't no electricity
Matches are wet and the fear is met
Caught in the darkness, startin' to fret.

Face now a river built by the tears
Eroded by deep thoughts and great fears
It's an endless cycle of trouble and strife
Yearning to break it and pick up a knife.

But it don't seem right to just pick up a knife
God gave us life, not no god damn knife
It's yours to take and yours to make
So take this life and get rid of the strife.

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:48 pm

Anger, Resentment, Hate

Bred by Jealousy, Fueled on Envy,
we dwell in the hearts of Men
Here we reside, feeding on Pride,
waiting on hurt to begin.

We are the One's sitting by the Door
when Others are trying to Soar
We keep Mothers & Daughters apart
Severing the bonds they start.

Fathers & Sons know us well
We've caused many relationships to fail
Family gatherings are what we live for
We've stung many Sisters to the Core.

We're able to survive with out each other
but, together, we can really cause one to suffer
We' don't exist in a heart that's pure
We are a Disease; Love is the Cure.

Take heed my friends before it's to late
We are Anger, Resentment, & Hate.

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:45 am

No Sleep for the Wicked

On soft tender feet, the night it does creep
But no where does sleep come
I lay in the bed, with visions in my head
And try to relax for a while
But my eyes they don't close, as I repose

Th e night it seems will be endless
What can I do, to help myself snooze
As words swirl round my head
With all my might, I have a sleepless night
No peace it seem is out there
Could it be real, or is my world surreal?
As the long night goes on
I toss and turn, with sleep just spurned
I might as get forget it
Maybe their right, I should just give up the fight
No sleep for the wicked will come

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:58 am

I Don't Wish On Stars, I Wish On Razor Blades

I stare out the window,
But my view is obscured by bricks.
I don't see the stars tonight,
All I see are the sharpened blades around me.

THESE are my wishing stars.

Oh, please let me wish upon you;
My blood will be the sacrifice,
My satisfaction will be the gift.
So let me wish on you tonight.

The first star has faded,
So I'll throw it aside,
A second star will come to me,
So I can make a wish.

One Star thrown aside,
Two Stars faded away,
Three Stars that have given me hope,
Four Stars that I've wished upon.

Please don't take my stars
Away from me, I still have
A few more wishes to make
On them...

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:38 am

My Life

I can't keep going on like this
I know that someday will be bliss
I can't go on like this much longer
I just that I was alot stronger
Why does my life have to be this way?
I wish I could say that I was okay
I'm tired of these thoughts in my head
I just wish I knew what kind of life I led
These feelings I keep inside
These scars I can never hid
As I sit here and look at my arm
Why did I have to start toself-harm?
I know that these scars will always be there
I still remember the time when my arms were bare
So don't worry about me anymore
I just wish I had to something to live for
I'm going to make sure that I'm content
I just wish I knew what a joyful life meant

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:48 am

feeling so weak.

blackness taking over the light,
i try to stop it with all my might,
blackness sucking up my past,
how much longer will this last?

redness dripping down my arm,
why do i cause myself so much self-harm,
redness dropping to the floor,
its makes me feel so sore.

the madness starts to sway,
but i never run away,
how much more of this can i take,
until i wont awake.

i see the scars all on my veins,
it makes me sad, just like the rain,
a tear drops down my face,
why do i have to feel so weak?

the sharp blade attacks my soul,
and my lifes beginning to unfold,
one thing that i know is true,
is i aint ever been so blue.

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:04 am

Carving Hearts On Wrists

I don't know this room,
There's white all around me.
My body feels numb;
I'm starting to freeze in front of this heater.

I'll pick my self up,
There's a tangy scent around my head.
My fingers reach out and grasp
My favorite item when I play these games.

Sharp points hit my veins,
My wrist feels warm... Cold... Wet.
I've drawn an obscure heart on my skin.
I'll just add the "I" and "U".

I say this is
To prove my worth,
I LOVE YOU more than
The stars love the skies.

My face feels wet.
Head is spinning and
I wish I could see you here.
But all I see is white.

I LOVE YOU more than anything.

wishiwasdead
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:39 am

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby wishiwasdead » Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:06 am

oh hunny them poems are heart breaking i wish i could do something to ease the pain :cry: but i cant im so sorry if you need to talk hunny ill be on my mobile all day ,bleh go bk to collage today, and will have access to my emails for most of it

love you always

Casey
xxxxx
is the grass always greener on the otherside?

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:06 am

last poem for tonight.......

The Downward Spiral

Panting, lungs stopped up with rage,
Hate, choking my throat
With a grip as strong as death itself
I lean against the cool bathroom tiles
Eyes closed and forehead burning
With an anger that is greater than fever.

Trembling fingers reach for silver razor
Blade is sharp and cool relief in sight
Hands shaking with the sheer content
That overflows me at even the sight
Of this my best friend.
Just the dingy light glinting off the sharp metal
Sends euphoria shooting through my brain
My drug of choice.

And as I set it against my arm
I feel the chill
Seeps from the razor
Into my arms,
Through my veins
Up along my arms, slowly creeping toward
My heart.

I close my eyes, grit my teeth
And make the sudden sharp downward
Slice.

Shlish.

The red drops fall one by one
Into the sink,
Crimson marring the perfect porcelain white.
Briefly it crosses my mind,
Will they ever come out?
Perversely I wish they won't.
Ruined sink, broken and tainted...
Something else in the house
As messed up as me.

The rage is dissipating now
Hate releases its tight stranglehold
From around my neck
Leaving speckled green-and-yellow bruises
Not visible to the naked eye
But more painful
Than the cuts on my arm
Nevertheless.

Shaking worse than ever,
My fingers so clumsy I almost drop the razor
As I wind it in its wrappings again
Slide it in my pocket
From where it will never stray
My one true friend.

The euphoria leaves my brain,
Shoots downward and away
Leaving reality stark and grim
As the dirty bathroom tiles
With mold and mildew all over them
And the half-cracked bathroom lights.

The high is gone; the guilt sets in.
What kind of monster am I?
To set blade against my own flesh
To hurt my own body by choice?
Years of conditioning rage at me
Voices taunt me, mock me, judge me
As I cringe away from the dictator
In my own head,
Hands clapped over my ears
As if that will help in the end.

I'll never do it again, I promise
Futilely throwing resolutions at the voices
As scraps of meat to pacify the great guard dogs,
Slaver dripping from their sharp teeth
That could crunch me up in a single bite.

I promise I promise I promise I'll be good...

The guilt rises up
Like bile, choking me in the throat...

And secretly, my fingers creep down
In my jeans pocket
Reaching...
Searching...
Finding...

feelingBETTERkim

Re: my poem book *trig* maybe

Postby feelingBETTERkim » Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:08 am

thank you hunni........ ill be fine im doing the school run with emma today...... may make app with doc too dont know yet will speak to emma......

im gonna go get off now have a coffee and what not before i go

take care

and love u 2

love kim
xoxo


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