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Anyone know more about disassociation?

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messed
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2016 2:47 am

Anyone know more about disassociation?

Postby messed » Thu Jan 25, 2018 11:09 pm

Ive got my first appoitment with the cmht soon. My depression is really severe atm but I always manage to hold it 'together' for my kids. This time so hard and I really feel like I don't know who I am anymore or what I'm doing at times.
I know last week I know I went on a mission kick arse at local services who have failed my daughter. But that's when I really crashed .
Once I'd achieved what I need to I crashed
And hit rock bottom again. I can never show anyone when I'm low, I won't answer the door or the phone and I disconnect myself from the whole world. I feel like when I'm on those 'missions' it's someone else and I just watched it. I feel so broken and this week I've started crying everytime I wake up in the morning because I suddenly realise im STILL alive :(

That said - I don't want to die,and I'm not planning suicide or even thinking about it. I just want all these things that have happens in our lives to just go away. But some never can and I can't handle that either because it kills me too much too know that.

My counseller and Gp mentioned the words 'disassociation' a few times but I don't know what the means or how serious it is? And is that even what I have? All I know is that I'm in a really bad place and struggling to survive each day atm

Amelie
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:30 pm

Re: Anyone know more about disassociation?

Postby Amelie » Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:47 pm

Hi there- sounds like you're having a really tough time if it- and that you need some support from others around you. My experience is that if you do reach out to others rather than hide away, it will help. As for dissociation, it's when you 'space out' like you're not really there. It's a learnt coping mechanism when you're in huge emotional pain to protect yourself. I used to do it but my counsellor taught me grounding techniques to get back in the room and I learnt self soothing techniques to feel safe and manage painful emotions.
I really hope you get the help you need to recover. You're not alone and you can and will recover with the right help x

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Anyone know more about disassociation?

Postby amaya » Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:29 pm

Disassociation can happen in a lot of different ways and for different reasons. I think it is worth asking the doctor what exactly was meant when he/she said it to be sure.


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