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Mental illness can affect us all

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
michelle22blue
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:32 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby michelle22blue » Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:10 pm

Hi, I am new to this group and wish I had joined it years ago, my partner and I went thru so much trouble due to my partners ex girlfriend, she was harassing us constantly and telling the social security me and my partner were living together which wasn't true, she also constantly cornered my partner and shouted horrible things and even called me a prostitute because of childhood abuse, we went to lawyers and got an interdict against her for 3 months because my partner lived near her, we hoped that once my partner got a new flat we could be a proper couple with no hassle but obviously there was lots of stress on relationship, my partner started seeing a psychotherapist to deal with issues, my partner was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a few years ago, after everything we went thru together tho and I stood by my partner thru all of this once my partner moved my partner broke up with me and is now blaming me for everything that went wrong in relationship, I wasn't an angel of course and I made mistakes, my partner is even blaming me for them going into mental hospital now, I was the 1 that looked after my partners dog and visited constantly tho, I feel it is maybe borderline personality disorder that my partner has and not bipolar because stuff my partner is saying just doesn't make sense and is not true, my partner is now saying I f***ed him up!!! excuse the swear word, that was my partners term, even tho i was the 1 that has been there thru all the stuff that was going on and supported him, trying to get my partner to meet to talk but now my partner is ignoring me, please help me, I,m feeling soo hopeless and devastated at the moment, the worst part is my partner is now best friends with the ex girlfriend we both fought so hard to get away from!!! its like a kick in the teeth to me, sorry for going on and on :roll: :cry: :cry:

Dion
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 9:33 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby Dion » Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:43 pm

I have suffered from depression since early adolescence. I am now 60 years of age. I am okay for a while sometimes 6 months but recently only a 6 week reprieve. My problem is when I am depressed I stay in bed all the time.This can last for anything up to 3 months. I would not survive without the support of my long suffering partner. I have been to doctors and phychiatrics but nothing seems to work. I often feel suicidal and have made 3 suicide attempts. I feel myself regressing back to when I was 12. I feel part of my depression is just laziness. I find it vey difficult to motivate myself.

hardy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2014 11:03 am

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby hardy » Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:12 am

I had to take care of my friend a month after she started showing mental depression. for me it was like taking care of small kid, we have to be alert each moment because don't know what they will do. I think it is hard to take care of a person who shows some mental depression

Wantstohelp
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:07 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby Wantstohelp » Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:45 pm

My husband is suffering with severe depression. He is on medication & is under a psychiatrist but he seems to be getting worse. He is rock bottom & I don't know what to do to help him. I suffer with OCD myself which doesn't help the situation. He is awaiting counselling but he is terrified it won't work as he struggles with the idea & is terrified he will feel like this forever. It breaks my heart to see him like this, can anyone suggest anything I can do to help please ?

chrissy2012
Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 6:23 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby chrissy2012 » Wed Feb 25, 2015 5:16 pm

Scots07 not sure if your in uk but this may help http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Schizophre ... aspx.....I hope you find what your looking for and all goes well .

rob91
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 6:42 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby rob91 » Fri Mar 20, 2015 7:45 pm

I'm in a pretty bad scenario right now, and would love to gather as much help/advise as possible. It's rather complex so please bear with me:

My Girlfriend and I met around 18 months ago, and fell in love at first sight. Within a couple of months she started asking me to move in, and after 4 - 5 months she drunkenly asked me to marry her a few times. Because we were still in early days, everything was going great as it was and we're 22-23, I was very much of the impression 'it's going great, lets just keep going like it'.

From day 1 she was always open to me about her past depression. She suffered from about the age of 14, from depression (leading to self harming), anxiety and stress, however always bottled up and never told her family/friends because she felt she would burden them. Despite this, I always encouraged communication and openness and she always felt safe confiding in me.

The first year of the relationship was great, we had some lovely holidays, her family took me in as one of their own, as did mine for her, and we just seemed to keep on growing as a couple.

Then about 6 months ago she started getting a bit down and I could see an instant change in her. At this point she almost entirely lost her libido. I encouraged her to open up to her manager and co-workers about it so that they were aware, and they were hugely sympathetic, allowing her to have half days where required, etc.

For about 3 months I felt we just about had it under control, until one day she had a breakdown, started talking about suicide, and would have attempted it one Sunday had I not stayed in the house. At this point I realised I could no longer handle it on my own, so visited her brother and told him about it. The family were soon all informed, and in absolute shock that none of them knew anything about it.

For the last 3 months she's received therapy, been on full time anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills where needed, and things kind of plodded along.

Until one weekend we had an arguement about her future work plans, and unknown to me, once I left the room she went into the bathroom and self harmed. She told me about this a couple of days later, and I was absolutely distraught, however I continued to support her.

About 3 weeks later I was going to bed and set an alarm on her phone as usual, when a message from a familiar sounding name popped up. My intrigue got the better of me, and I looked at the message chain. What I saw was messages with her offing to send this guy 'bikini pics' while she was away, saying she'd 'get naughty' with him if he was out there, and essentially borderline sexting. There were further conversations on Whatsapp and Snapchat but she had deleted these before then, so the content of these remain unknown. This is during a time that we were having sex perhaps once a month due to this 'missing libido' of hers, which seemed pretty apparent here.

Now i was understandably distraught, broke down and demanded answers to questions. During this, she broke down herself and started trying to self harm again, and said she wanted to die, lunging up to try and commit suicide, however fortunately I was able to restrain her. She described her relationship with this guy as being 'fantasy', as they'd never met, however had sexted for a fair few years in the past and he lives in the same city.

I'm sure a lot of people would think 'well what are you doing with her? Why would you put yourself through all of that?'. The answer is simple, I am madly in love with her, and I frankly can't imagine a future without her, because I can remember how incredible life was before the latest phase of depression came along. She is a beautiful, clever, passionate, caring girl who I can't believe I managed to land, so I would, and will do everything in my power to ensure we have the best chance of spending the rest of our lives together.

It turns out that she saw me as more of a carer figure than a boyfriend, and feels that I am only sticking around because she's ill, and not because I was to be with her. When I finally managed to get this through to her, she said that she needed to try and think about how she could imagine me as more of a boyfriend moving forwards. Suddenly within a week she finished with me on the spot, without allowing me to say/try/do anything to salvage this fantastic relationship. This is based on her feeling guilty that she couldn't repay my love in the same way, couldn't see me as a boyfriend, etc. She's also committed to spending around 6 months abroad from 3 weeks time, and almost used that as a 'well I've paid for that, so there's no hope for us now'.

Now this all blew up 4 days ago, and not being able to text her first thing when I wake up and last thing before I go to bed is killing me. Not being able to be with her, on date nights out or quiet nights in is killing me. Not being able to tell her that I love her is killing me. We're hopefully meeting up next week to discuss a few things, but for now I have a million and one things going through my head, what did I do wrong? what did she do wrong? what happened? was there another guy? was there more than one guy? i'm not in great shape at the moment, is she simply not attracted to me? she essentially broke up with me because i cared, how is that possible? how do you not care too much for the one you love? is there another guy basically in waiting?

I know most people would say 'give it time, she'll come round', but I just don't feel confident in this theory at all. The thought of her with another guy, whether one-off or relationship wise makes me feel physically sick, and she's been pretty 'active' in the past, as well as virtually with someone else at the end of our time, which doesn't exactly put my mind at rest.

What do I do? How do I subtly say 'please don't get with any guys in the next 6 months, I won't get with any girls, and we can see how things turn out then?' without seeming controlling and trying to make her long term commit when she clearly can't right now?! She's reluctant to commit to seeing how things are after the phase passes, because 'we don't know how long that will be', but how do I try and convince her of this?

Help.....Please......

despondantfondant
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:19 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby despondantfondant » Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:31 pm

Hi all, just want to introduce myself. I'm a mum of 3 amazing kids and my husband of 4 years has just been diagnosed with depression, which is not helped, may I say, caused by his still undiagnosed illness. At the moment he is still under investigation by the neurologists for possible dystonia. I feel horrible for saying this but I'm getting so frustrated with him at the moment, I know he can't help his feelings and his problems, but try as I might, nothing I do to help is helping. At the moment I feel guilty and selfish, what about me????? I must just struggle on and feel like I'm just stuck in the background.

HannahMontague
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:40 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby HannahMontague » Thu Oct 29, 2015 12:48 am

Hi,

I'm feeling low right now so logged on here to just see who's around.

The truth is I am lonely. I feel broken and worn down by it all.

My mum has been ill for years, my dad has skin cancer now. My son is an amazing loving 10 year old but has no friends outside of school.

I think life has cheated me and that's never gonna change.

I don't wanna sink into that deep dark hole where my thoughts and fears rule me.

X

HannahMontague
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:40 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby HannahMontague » Thu Oct 29, 2015 12:50 am

Hi,

I'm feeling low right now so logged on here to just see who's around.

The truth is I am lonely. I feel broken and worn down by it all.

My mum has been ill for years, my dad has skin cancer now. My son is an amazing loving 10 year old but has no friends outside of school.

I think life has cheated me and that's never gonna change.

I don't wanna sink into that deep dark hole where my thoughts and fears rule me.

X

imogenh
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:51 pm

Re: Mental illness can affect us all

Postby imogenh » Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:42 pm

I have really struggled with this within the family, both my parents have depression. My mum is worse than my dad, with chronic and manic depression and has made a lot of attempts on her life, and throughout the whole experience I had no support and carried on completing college. Whilst at college I was severely bullied everyday to the point I would cry myself to sleep every night, so I ended up not attending University and becoming a young carer and doing my work while my mum slept, I came out with A*A*A*, My mum is still suffering and I am hoping someone can give me ideas on how to deal with this within the family.


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