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My husband needs help

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:49 pm

My husband needs help

Postby simi12 » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:54 pm

I have been married to my husband for 12 years,in the past few years he started becoming more and more distant and inward ,then 2 years ago the Brexit referendum happened( I am an EU citizen,he is British),which caused me a lot of stress but this is not the main issue,in the past few months my husband became quite active on social media,which is not a bad thing,considering that he is suffering with depression and agoraphobia,meaning he never leaves the home,I understand he needs an escape,i have no problem with him making friends,but one of these "friends" happened to be a Dutch lady,11 years younger than him,married with kids,who found his weak spot(us not having children) and started calling him Dad,telling her children that my husband is their Granddad and I am asked to not only accept that but if possible to have her calling me Mom too,since he met this woman,he started projecting all sorts of things on me,accusing me of things i never done,basically my life with him became hell,i cannot talk to my own husband anymore,everything I do is bad,he'd been yo yo ing his medication,going on and off it (Prozac and Diazepam),when I suggested to see the doctor to have his medication changed,he refused,in fact he refuses anything I suggest,in these past few weeks I have been verbally,phisically attacked by my own husband simply because I cannot accept as easy as him this father daughter internet thing.I myself am going through early menopause,i am on HRT which next week will be changed because it is not helping me anymore,I asked him to come with me and since then it's like he went mad,trying anything to get away from accompanying me to the doctor,I feel all alone in this marriage,I feel powerless,I want to help him and I do not know how,please,can you help me,find someone to talk to who could help me?thank you I am at the end of my wits

Posts: 553
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: My husband needs help

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Fri Nov 30, 2018 11:13 pm

You can help your husband but he has to also accept and want that

Easier therefore and start here - is to start to work out how you can help yourself and improve things for yourself
Doing so will then make your more resilient and more able to help your husband

Put a great big do not enter box around your husband online stuff and shove it to one side -- while being aware that it is there
Just ignore it

Okay so now what ideas do you have that you can do to help yourself
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

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