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Mum-don't know what to do

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Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 11:15 am

Mum-don't know what to do

Postby forrestm » Sat Feb 24, 2018 11:46 am

I am the mother of a lovely 19 year old who is clever and talented but suffering from depression. I don't know how to help him. He is at University and is struggling to keep himself on good terms with others and is marginalising himself through excess drinking (putting it mildly) and aggression although I have not witnessed this first hand. I have witnessed the excessive drinking and its way off the scale of anything I have seen before.

He is on Sertraline but it doesn't seem to help much. He is seeing a counsellor but that hasn't helped an awful lot (maybe a bit) in the past and he is trying a new one now. He is with AA although we are not sure this is helping as it may be he is not alcoholic as he can go for some time without drinking. His binges are triggered by being at the bottom of the abyss. He was taken by a friend to Changing Lives and he is being seen by them now (seems like a great place but is more about addiction I think).

He started showing signs at about age 8 and I nearly took him to the doctor then but he seemed to pull out of that so I didn't....I regret that now. His real problems started between GCSE's and A levels, though you would never know if you look at his results as they were good. He told me last night that his success at exams was due to his (manic?) attack at revision prior to taking the exams.

He doesn't sleep well at all, sometimes only an hour or two for three nights in a row. He is not keeping up well with course work although he tells us he is average I think that is him talking himself up!

Has anyone got any advice about what we do now? We feel so alone as a family and my son feels cut off from us too. He doesn't want to come home and finds it difficult to stay for more than a week with us. He tells me he wants to get in a van and drive off and disappear. I am terrified for him and desperately trying not to show it.

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Re: Mum-don't know what to do

Postby deb1960 » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:17 pm

It's really hard for you. You're seeing your son suffering and can't sort it out. I think it must be immensely difficult for parents in this situation.

I think your son has definite drinking problems. Excess drinking, even though it isn't constant, is a serious problem. It could also be affecting the uptake of the sertraline.

In England and Wales the charity MIND have centres and a phone line. It might be a good idea to give them a call. I would suggest to that you get in touch with the mental health services in your area to see if there is a carers group or any other help. I have found that you have to be like a detective to discover the little help there is. But the more different groups, people, helplines you get hold of the more likely you are to find a way forward.

I'm sorry I can't help you more

Deb x

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