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Partners severe paranoia

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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:34 pm

Partners severe paranoia

Postby fayechristinaxo » Thu Feb 01, 2018 12:52 pm

This is going to be a long one.

I've been with my boyfriend for coming up to a year now, and even before all our issues arose his friends knew him as a paranoid person.
He's 33 and he's had 4 serious relationships, his first serious girlfriend cheated on him with a teacher and it seems since he's had trouble in trusting - and by trouble I mean literally 0 trust. His next serious girlfriend got accused of sleeping with lets say person A and person B, I know these people as we all used to hang around in the same circles. His relationship broke down due to a lack of trust and him actually cheating believing she'd done it first.
He told me during his next relationship he'd suffered from paranoia too.
Unfortunately now, I'm being accused of sleeping with person A, person B and ANOTHER person, despite me working and only coming home to him. His justification for it is that we were online at the same time, person A had posted a status saying 'if you love them let them nap' the day after he'd woken me up from a nap, and person A posted a popular James Blunt meme online after he'd sang me his 'you're beautiful' song. He'd also apparently posted something about dutch ovens after he'd done it to me (I checked and no such thing got posted.) Despite these people being blocked, he's still adamant I'm speaking to them.

To others, it looks like he's doing this because he's a malicious manipulative person, however everybody has said he's not being himself, and the many breakdowns he's had begging me for me to tell him the 'truth'.. he genuinely believes this stuff.

I believe there's an issue deep down, but he's also a cocaine addict. So, the paranoia he experiences when he takes, has been projected onto me. During a festival he'd taken 6 grams and accused me of sleeping with somebody in the toilets. Even from the beginning, he'd take it and I'd have to check the house to make sure there was nobody there. His friend went to refuel the car and he'd become paranoid his friend was going to do something. A taxi dropped him off and he RAN away thinking he was going to fight him, I had to walk to my mothers to get him and he held my hand loosely incase he had to hit somebody.
He's currently on prozac to combat the issues the cocaine had done to him (it had depleted the dopamine levels in his brain to the point he produced none - resulting in him being anxious, depressed, and at times suicidal), the prozac has sorted that aspect out but it hasn't gotten rid of the paranoia - despite the doctors telling him it was drug related issues he's still blaming me for the medication.

Now, I've scoured the internet for help and advice, and most peoples idea of combating the issue is to simply end the relationship. However, I'm not quick to quit, especially when you love somebody. But I'm just looking for some actual advice, hes been referred for therapy but unfortunately free therapy is poor, by poor I mean during a brief break up they'd asked him if he needed therapy as he'd gotten rid of the issue. The issue is NOT me, I'm at my wits end explaining that if I left he'd still have issues with whoever he was with, unfortunately I'm the only girlfriend that's actually helping him face his demons, as all of his exes used to sit and do mountains of drugs with him instead of helping to get him clean.

Any advice welcome please.

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Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Partners severe paranoia

Postby amaya » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:11 pm

Does he have a psychiatrist or therapist?
Perhaps you could ask for a one off appointment where you could go together and perhaps his mental health support could help facilitate a way to help him deal better with his paranoia where it concerns you.

And just remember, you are responsible for you, and he is responsible for himself. You can support, but not make yourself his saviour.

There may come a point where it is better for you both not to be together. I hope that doesn't happen because it seems that you really care for him.

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