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New Member, Son won't accept help.

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:06 pm

New Member, Son won't accept help.

Postby tas » Wed Dec 27, 2017 10:54 pm

Forgive me for rambling but it is a long story already submitted but my wifi went so having to retype.

My son now 31 has been a long term drug user since the age of 14/15 which has been a nightmare in itself, Unsure how much was self medicating (paranoia, anxiety etc.). On his last prison sentence he attempted to hang himself, he was found un responsive but was brought round and ended up in ICU, we were called in as unsure if brain damage etc. So after that in prison he did absolutely great came out clean from drugs, great outlook, wanted a fresh start for his daughter etc and all was great. Then gradually over say the last 6 weeks things have gone from bad to worse. He turned on his gran whom he lived with, so he ended up here at mine with a dog he won't leave anywhere. He keeps leaving saying he can't handle life or living here and sleeping rough for a few hours. Making himself and the poor dog ill. Tonight he has gone to his grand and smashed a window and stole her budgie. He said it's not safe in her house as s he is a paedophile.
It's heartbreaking but he thinks he is normal. We are under the anchorage our local mental health and he still has a probation officer so we have support but I'm really not coping.
Any practical help,out there as to how to deal with him? TIA

Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:06 pm

Re: New Member, Son won't accept help.

Postby tas » Fri Dec 29, 2017 12:05 am

If I posted in the wrong place I apologise. Not one response in 24 hours doesn't give me greatest encouragement.

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Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: New Member, Son won't accept help.

Postby christabel » Fri Dec 29, 2017 6:33 am

Sorry tas for the late response. The forum can be a little quiet at times as there are a handful of members who participate when they can. We all have our MH problems and are not always up too supporting.

I am so sorry to hear that your family and your poor son is having such a bad time. I can't really offer any advice. Perhaps some of the other more knowledgeable on here can. I hope so.

Just to let you know that you have been heard and that my thoughts are with you all.

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Location: UK

Re: New Member, Son won't accept help.

Postby breatheinandout » Fri Dec 29, 2017 5:56 pm

Hi tas, how are you doing? it sounds like a really difficult complicated situation, your son is lucky to have people like you and his gran who care about him. Fom what you say he is really poorly, and that might be one of the reasons he can't see it - mental illness plays tricks on you.

Is he getting support from the mental health team or has he declined help? It sounds like he might have done from what you say - just wondering if he is on any meds. Are you aware of something happening that caused his recent decline?

I can't offer any magic tips, but do have a look at the Mind website - it has lots of info about the different conditions and how to support others. ... eone-else/

Are you looking after yourself too? If it gets too much, it is ok to ask for help - your GP will be there to listen and may be able to signpost support for you, for example the Carers Trust

Sending hugs.
Why did i pick such a long username?! Do call me Biao :D

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Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: New Member, Son won't accept help.

Postby amaya » Fri Dec 29, 2017 7:06 pm

He definitely needs the support of the mental health team. He may even need a hospital stay. It is complicated because if he is on record as a substance abuser then that makes him dual diagnosis along with the mental health problems and it makes it difficult to know how he should be treated. But his behaviour certainly indicates that he needs urgent support. If he won't engage with services himself I would definitely seek advice yourself about what the next step should be. Mind is a good idea. Or calling the community mental health team yourself to see what the options are and what the criteria are for a hospital stay etc.

It sounds really tough. Make sure you are getting the support you need to. If it is overwhelming go to your GP and let them know that you aren't coping and also need some help.

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