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parents drinking

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
rock
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:19 am

parents drinking

Postby rock » Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:42 am

hello I just feel really down and depressed because I try my hardest to stop thinking im responsible for my parents constantly drinking abd when I was young I used to always see them fighting and falling out and they always used to hurt eachother and then it would result in my dad getting aressted and then coming back in the morning pretending nothing happened quite a few times my mum used to go to scholl with us with a black eye or a busted lip or my dad would be walk round going to work with bruises all over hin they never hurt ne or anything but then he got sent down and while he was away I got sexualy assuled and he found out and thats when he started drinking loads again :( and I cant seen to think of ways he to tell him I need him to stop I have a loveibg partner that trys his danm hardest to help ne but I still go back to thinking its alk my fault and I didnt get to see my grandads funerla ti say goodbye :'( even my mum says they just like a drink but they have three four big bottles of cider a night I know ut probably sounds stupid but I dont live with them anymore but I still feel responsible somehow I just dont understand why they drink so much can anyone help me please? :( I have suffered with depression as lobg as I can remember I used to self harm but now I have my fiancee and ny son to think about I just get really down at tines and just need someone to talk to other than ny partner because he has resons for nit wanting to talk about this sort of stuff plus I hate troubking him with ny depression because he already has to deal with ny anxiety and my paranoia from previous relationships and he reckons im being silly :/

beach
Posts: 126
Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:52 pm

Re: parents drinking

Postby beach » Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:48 pm

Hi Rock, sorry I can't be more help, just wanted to acknowledge you and reassure you that someone who is better able to will come and help soon, so keep coming back and checking. Dont think no-one is going to answer, it is just that no-one has seen your message yet. People dip in and out, though there are a group of people that come in regularly and help with these sort of questions. Hope that you are feeling a bit better today. Hang in there, things will become clearer and life will improve. All the best, beach

rock
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:19 am

Re: parents drinking

Postby rock » Sat Dec 16, 2017 7:26 pm

Thank you I feel a bit better today thankyou though just seeing this made me feel a bit better knowing I wasn't being ignored which is what I thought to be honest :)

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: parents drinking

Postby amaya » Sat Dec 16, 2017 9:34 pm

Rock what professional support do you have for your own struggles with depression?

How come it is difficult to talk to your partner? And do you have friends you can talk to about this to spread the load around?

Sorry for so many questions :) It is sad to read about how your parents are, but you really aren't responsible. It sounds to me like your dad had a second chance and threw it away by using what happened to you as an excuse to go back to his old behaviour. This is also not your fault. Parents are supposed to protect their children and you clearly suffered emotional abuse from their behaviour from then until now and it hasn't stopped.

I would suggest getting extra support for yourself at this time and distancing yourself from your parents to be able to cope. Especially during xmas when the drinking will be worse. You have to protect your own family and yourself now.

rock
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:19 am

Re: parents drinking

Postby rock » Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:43 am

I dont have any.....
and my partner is epileptic and is stressing about his appointment three days after xmas and he moving us into a new flat.. so I dont want to pile anymore stress in top of that and friends I dont have any... all I have is my teo sisterz that steal and be horrible about me :/ and im just scared if I go to doctors or something about this they might see me as unfit to look after my son but thankyou for the support its made me feel loads better :D

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: parents drinking

Postby amaya » Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:26 pm

If you go to the doctor to ask for support, then two things will happen: You have a chance for some support, and the doctor will see a parent acting protectively towards their child by choosing to ask for help when they need it. I used to work in social services and no one got their child taken away for asking for help.

I can see why you don't want to do anything different with a house move and xmas etc. But I think in the new year you could start making some changes to support yourself. Six months ago I didn't have any friends and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. It is not good not to have a support network. I now have two friends after a lot of pushing myself to do things when I wanted to hide away.. but I am hoping to build it up further too. It is good for us not to just lean on one person. Maybe try going to a club for a sport or hobby you are interested in and build up from there. I think I messaged a lot of different people to see if anyone I had met wanted to do something until I found the two that wanted a friendship. Scary.. but worth it.

Don't ever feel bad about taking the space you need from your family to be around more positive people.


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