My friend who's now been living here with me for four months has histrionic personality disorder. Although undiagnosed, which is normal for most people with PDs, she easily satisfies the criteria.
She lies compulsively, often for no reason at all. She's lied so often that I don't what is true and what isn't, which makes it impossible to trust her. She's even lied to cover up earlier lies. Also she hasn't been paying her way, but that's less important to me.
She came into my life in the classic way that HPDs do this, starting with weeks of drama and tears until she joined me here, when her attitude changed - because she'd got what she wanted. She craves attention, and is unhealthily obsessed with her appearance and youthfulness. Her emotions are flat and unstable. She lacks empathy and even openly admits it. She also seems to lack much of a conscience, and admits she's selfish. She's also impulsive and potentially promiscuous. All this is quite typical of HPD.
The problem for me is that I care too much - if that's possible. I'd do anything for her if only she'd get well, and I've always gone out of my way to do things for her, but it's all so one-way. I get very little back, but what I do get means such a lot to me. She wasn't happy at her flat, and since she moved to England about 18 months ago, she's lived at five addresses and had umpteen jobs and many holidays abroad, but at last she now has more stable work, up to 60 hours a week and somewhere she can call home Despite our disagreements, I feel she is more stable here than when she was in that flat where she often complained of loneliness.
Although part of me would like her to leave and find somewhere else, I'm also afraid that her life would go into decline again. I want to help her, because it's so obvious that she desperately needs help - and so do I. At least I never stop seeking help, but so far she hasn't sought help for her 'problem' as she often calls it. I find it very hard to reason with her - almost as if she has a mental block. Her concentration span is very poor, and she often talks of 'clearing her head'.
Very few people would have been able to put up with her behaviour for as long as I have done. Maybe it's because of my high empathy and autistic persistence and loyalty - but it's certainly not doing my mental health much good.
If anyone has any advice, it would be very welcome. Thanks.