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What else can I do?

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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What else can I do?

Postby brighte » Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:59 pm

Hi everyone

My wife has clinical depression and anxiety. 3 years ago she was sectioned after a psychotic episode. Since then sh3 has been slowly getting better, until June this year when she relapsed

She doesn’t go out, neglects her hygiene, has written suicide notes, has extremely negative repetitive thought patterns, and increasingly bizarre behaviour. But she has capacity. The cpn basically says due to this she will either take her tablets ( which she doesn’t consistently) and get better, or not take them, have a psychotic episode and be sectioned

In the meantime, I am struggling to know what to do or say. Nothing makes any impact or breaks through her thought patterns

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Re: What else can I do?

Postby amaya » Sun Oct 22, 2017 8:59 pm

That is really tough, for you both.

When did she last have a meds review? If she is struggling this much maybe it would help to have this looked at.

I think it will be hard for you to be able to do the right thing because it sounds like she needs more professional support. But I think being there is important. If you mean well and you always show your support and caring it will mean a lot to her even if you can't actually do anything yourself to make the illness better. Also make sure you have enough support for yourself in place. This will be taking a massive toll on you and you don't want to get run down completely.

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Re: What else can I do?

Postby rsxo » Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:47 pm

Hi brighte,

First of all, I want to say thank you. The fact that you decide to stick around and support her is really brave and admirable - you may not realise just how much your support means to her, even if she doesn't show it.

The reality is that you can't force her to do anything. All you can do is support her emotionally and help her through this - the onus is on her to take the steps to get better herself, as harsh as that soundsx

Much love <3
RSxo <3

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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:43 pm

Re: What else can I do?

Postby brighte » Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:17 pm

Thank you. It’s been a difficult few weeks. Things got worse and she was sectioned, but only for a week. I think she’s taking her meds, but can’t be 100% sure. But most of the time she is in bed. I come home to a dark and cold house, wash up, make food. Sit and watch tv. Often like today I come home and she’s been drinking. It’s very hard sometimes to remember love or patience or understanding.

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Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: What else can I do?

Postby christabel » Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:40 pm

Hi brighte

I really hope wife continues with her medication. Dreadful thing depression and anxiety for all concerned.

I hope you continue to use the forum. Just being able to off load whenever you need to can help.

Wishing you both well. Take care. Chris

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Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:25 pm

Re: What else can I do?

Postby lucym » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:07 pm

Hi Brighte,

I'm in the same position as you. partner is currently withdrawing from meds and just sits in bed all day, doesn't want to do anything, eat anything,. He's not supposed to feel the withdrawal so the dose isn't high enough, which is what is causing his mood. I can't suggest anything, there's no point trying to talk in the morning because my head gets bitten off because of his anxiety. We've gone through this so many times now I feel like I'm losing it myself now, I don't think I can cope with another withdrawal again. I don;t even know if I should stay in the relationship anymore. It just feels like it's never ending and we're just waiting and waiting and waiting for things to get better but it feels like it's never going to come- even though I know help is on the way, and this is part of it. why do the services make you wait so long? Sorry, I ahven't any advice or positivity, just having a really tough week.


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Re: What else can I do?

Postby teamn » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:20 am

Really honourable of you, you've taken you wedding vows seriously, in sickness and health.

Sorry it's been so rough for you both, and you coming on here shows how supportive you are also. I think in regards to wife your probably doing all that you can. So what else can you do, look after yourself also, take a break, chill out for few hours, take mind of it. so you have strength to look after her.

In regards to Mede, you may have to count them or take them and give them to her before you leave for work, if she allows that, just like they would in hospital. And then you can be sure she takes them. Keep on the forum and look after yourself, all the best to you and your wife.

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Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: What else can I do?

Postby amaya » Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:44 am

Drinking could be interferring with the effectiveness of the meds. Can you speak with the mental health team involved with her care for guidance on what you can do to support her?

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