I fully get how depression can be circumstantial especially with all the heartache your man is going through re-court case. It would impact on very strong individuals.
The day of the break up message, my guy would not read my messages or pick up the phone to me. We saw each other at wkends only he lives 50km away. Before that we messaged constantly and spoke on the phone daily. I was going to tell my kids about him, a very big and first step for me... anyway he texted me (whatsapp) after a full day of silence saying I was the nicest most beautiful woman he ever met but that he didn’t deserve me, that I deserved better than him he wasn’t right for me he was in a dark place. He concluded his message saying “I am a fool for loving someone so much that I know I can never make happy when I cannot be happy myself”.
I responded 5-6 different texts until eventually he rang me, we were both crying on the phone, he told me he’d sleep on it and talk to me the next day, he told me he loved me. This is during that call he told me the extent of the dark place... But he wouldn’t talk or text the next day. 2 days later I was scared for his welfare and I drove to his workplace. We spoke for 1hr. I kept my composure (mostly) but when tears were coming to my eyes he could not look at me. Seeing me in pain was hurting him and the conversation was too much he was agitated holding his head, in turmoil... but through this face to face we held hands, we hugged, there was so much love between us and I know this was hard for him too
I truly believe they do not want to hurt us, the choice of whatsapp is easieryou don’t hear the hurt in someone’s voice, you don’t see the pain in their eyes. You send the message and don’t really have to face the full effects. It’s just my take on it, I am no expert