Took some time out from here as I have be trying to refocus. This time of year is especially hard when you had plans with your signficant other and they let you down. I didn’t hear from him at Christmas or for new year. We did have our final meet/exchange of belongings on 21 Dec - it was so hard to be sat across the table opposite the man that makes me weak, the man that i have cried about since the breakup 6 weeks ago. However that day, I did not cry, I was strong (even though i was hurting inside), I wanted to leave a positive feeling in him after that meeting, that I am a strong woman and I will live my life. Sometimes when we end things on a positive, it makes the person breaking up,question themselves. Anyway, I have come to the realisation that i need to pick myself up - as hard as it is for me to say, I need to face the facts and realise that it is done ..for now..or maybe even forever. Which makes me so sad. But I truly believe that if something is meant for you, it will be yours...no matter how long it takes. Love is a beautiful thing and we should not have to fight for it.
I have not contacted him since 21 Dec and don’t plan on doing so. If he wants to find me, he knows where I am. I see him online on whatsapp, but Im clearly no longer a priority. I am now going to try my hardest and focus on being happy. Our happiness should not be dependant on people or things (I have unfortunately been living this way) - so enough is enough. We have to look after our hearts. We have so much love to give, and of the billions of people in the world, there will be someone who will appreciate and reciprocate it even more.
Yesterday was tough because I saw all the new year posts of friends (couples) on social media and I was thinking of what could have been - and had a cry. I have been robbed of my happiness over this festive season just for loving someone, but I refuse to drag it into the new year. I will take each day as it comes and fight and will hopefully come out stronger.
We are all loved. Let’s not forget that xxxxxxx