It’s taken me some to to come here and share but I really do need some advice,I work in mental health service and have done for many years, however it is difficult having to support a partner with those needs. I live with my partner, however he has periodically gone to stay at mums due to various issues, he then blocks me out, treats me like a stranger but does still say he loves me. On Saturday our anniversary he didn’t come home, unfortunately he has managed to get himself involved in situations he wishes he wasn’t and at times he believes the life he lives with me isn’t realistic, he always comes back when he gets himself stable, which last time took 2 months, he promised he wouldn’t do this again, knows the effect it has on me but again he has, the funny thing is when he lets me in things get better so much quicker. Anyway on Monday I found out I was pregnant, unplanned I’m on the pill so you can imagine the fear I had telling him, I didn’t want to tell him over the phone and the plan has been that he will come home and talk so I could tell him face to face, however he figured out and hasn’t come home, I spoke to him at length last night, he can’t see a way through or how he can live a life with me and his children (from others) as he feels what he is going through takes over and he just can’t give anyone what they deserve and the thought of me having a baby when he can’t even find his way through each day is just something he can’t see or want, I do want this baby, I had a miscarriage last year that sent him away for a month as he felt guilty then because he said he didn’t want a baby. What’s funny is when we met we were tying for a baby and were so happy, it took a situation to occur where his old lifestyle has caught up with him to bring on these severe bouts. I just don’t know what to think, I believe that if we have this child it may help him focus and pull him away etc but at this moment in time I just don’t know what to think! He’s a great father and we always discussed if we had a child we would want to raise together in a relationship as we both have previous relationships where children were involved that haven’t been great. I adore him and do not want to do this on my own, he acknowledges he suffers with depression, however his male pride prevents him from seeking support from his GP.
Any help would be great,
Thank you all