Hi everyone, so sorry that we are all having a tough time.
I have been upset myself. I guess I was hoping that my ex would change his mind but this evening he told his cousin that he had too much going on, had to sort things out before he can commit to a relationship. He didn’t think it was fair on me and he didn’t want me to deal with his issues that’s still going on with his divorce. I’m heartbroken and I don’t know how much of this is to do with his depression. I wonder if he really is depressed. My ex was the one who pursued me, asked me to be in an exclusive relationship with him soon after we got together, said he’d never break my heart, asked me to take a risk, that he’d always be faithful, declared he fell in love with me first, said he could see a future with me, that I was the only person he felt he could let his guard down, that it was the two of us against the world, pleaded with me not to break up with him, that if we can get through this, we can get through anything... was all of this a lie? Was I just very naive? How can I ever trust any guy again? Will I need to make sure they don’t have any baggage/issues first? Now I yet again will have to pick up the pieces, whilst he gets on with his life.
He’s still on Facebook a lot, staying up at night and sleeping during the day. I know he’s messaging people on Messenger and it could be women. I’m also like you Sally, obsessing over FB and dreading finding out he has deleted our posts, pictures and relationship status.
His cousin managed to book him on his course yesterday, but unfortunately for my ex, he failed by 1 question. I felt so bad for him as I can imagine that he would have taken it as another failure and he must have felt even more worthless. His cousin was worried and confused that my ex didn’t seem to be taking the e-learning seriously. He spent 3 hours with my ex on Monday night going through the course work. His cousin has asked him to study for the next course he’s paying for again (next week), but I doubt my ex is doing that. I warned his cousin that he might be wasting his money again since it doesn’t look like my ex is in the right state of mind to do it. In fact, I sense my ex has given up trying and fighting. He doesn’t care anymore what happens to him.
I’ve asked my counsellor to work on the healing process and on moving on tomorrow. I’m sorry if this post is so long. I had to get it all out.