My wife wants to separate

[angie7124]

Hi, a couple of nights ago my wife announced out of the blue that she feels it isn’t working anymore and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. This is a total shock as I truly believed everything was ok. We’ve had a rocky few years as after giving birth to twins I struggled with post natal depression which I have sought help with and have been working to improve my mental health for the benefit of my family. I don’t want to lose her and can’t understand why this has come on all of a sudden! I feel completely lost and broken. I’ve suggested counselling but she doesn’t seem keen. She said she will do it but I think it’s only for my benefit. Sorry to ramble on, Im still in shock about it all.

[rsxo]

Hey, sorry to hear about what's happened - sounds like you weren't expecting this, so it's either something that you don't know about, or something that you're not entirely aware of. If she's said yes to counselling that's good - defo take that option. That way, at least you can hear what's going on in her mind, which seems to be better than what've you had so far x

[darceypride]

The more you try to hold on to her, the more she will flee. Let her move out and she will probably come back. Tell her you love her but if she is moving out, you will be moving on as well. Give her the sense she will lose you if she takes this too far. Right now she knows she can try whatever and you will still be there if she changes her mind. Let her realize you may not be around if she decides to return.

[petersty]

Right now she knows she can try whatever and you will still be there if she changes her mind. Let her realize you may not be around if she decides to return

[tommo]

I too am seperated from my wife but living in the same house with two teenage boys. She has depression/mid life crisis... I have explained what i want but as long as she is in depression there will be no progress.. You will suffer a number of different emotions, anger, blame, hate but dont hold these back. But make sure these are let out privately or with a support network.
In a way i have started to try and detach.. You can offer calmness and care but ultimately she can only control this and take responsibility.. Time and patience is key but you need to take time to self care and focus in you.. Pleading and showing desperation doesnt work, mark my words.. Seek counselling for yourself if you need it.. If she wants to leave it is her responsibility as the others have said. Sadly my wife has lost her job, has no savings and doesn't wish to rely on her parents. She feels trapped i think but i am not pushing the subject with her...
Take care. Xx