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Depressed boyfriend pushed me away

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
chpurple
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 8:50 pm

Depressed boyfriend pushed me away

Postby chpurple » Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:22 pm

I met the most gorgeous guy through a dating website. He told me on our first date that he suffered from social anxiety and had struggled with depression. As someone who has also suffered from depression, this did not scare me off - it was something else we had in common. We fell in love very quickly and things felt amazing. Unfortunately, I could tell within the first couple of months that he was starting to fall into the grips of depression again as he was showing all the classic signs. After a heart to heart about his behaviour towards me, he admitted that he didn't feel like himself. He said he wouldn't tell his parents because he didn't want to worry them, so I told him I would support him in whatever ways I could - I took him to his work's doctor, bought him vitamins, sent him infornation about CBT (he'd had therapy before following a previous episode where he had got so bad that he had written a suicide note) helped him to sort a debt management plan and even gave him money most months to help him with his debt. I was very affectionate with him and tried to make him realise how important he was to me. I constantly reminded him how much I love him and even the person he is when he isn't himself. He has been on antidepressants for a few months and his dose was increased before Christmas. Since then he has gradually pushed me further away saying he feels so down and his head is a mess. Eventually he unfriended me on FB and now it's over. I am devastated, can't stop thinking / worrying about him -I just want him back. What can I do?

christabel
Posts: 2105
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Depressed boyfriend pushed me away

Postby christabel » Mon Feb 18, 2019 9:37 pm

Hi chpurple

Welcome to the forum. If you read through the posts you will find many asking the same question.

Unfortunately all you can do is give him space and time. This is a common problem we have in that we tend to push away loved ones because we feel we can't cope or that they would be better off without them.
It is horrible for all concerned but maybe something that you would have to get used to if you got back together.

Let him know you are there for him then it's a waiting game.
Let us know how things are going. Take care. Chris


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