My boyfriend has been very low for the last few months; barely wants to do anything other than sit on his PC, sex drive has almost vanished, and worst of all each day I don't know what mood he's going to wake up in.
The last two days he has woken up in a foul mood, angry over nothing at all, and refused to speak to anyone (including me) all day. When he dropped me off at work he effectively kicked me out of the car on the road. I spoke to him last night about how it wasn't fair that he was so angry towards me when I hadn't done anything, and whilst I know he can't change his mood, he can try to moderate his reaction. I took him for dinner, he was apologetic, cheered up as the evening went on, and then by the time we got into bed was actually quite happy. I gave him a lot of space during the evening, as I figured if he didn't want to talk to too much it was better to just leave him be and let him come to me. I've tried to stay happy and upbeat, and not get angry despite the fact he is sometimes vile to me.
Same thing again this morning - vile mood and has so far ignored me all day.
I do totally understand that he has no control over how he feels, but I'm so exhausted at having to react to a different version of himself multiple times through the day. It makes me feel very insecure too, one day he wants my company, the next morning he's just really cross or can't be bothered at all. He think it's because of work (and he's taken a lot of time off recently). I'm hoping the the new job he starts in January will help all of this, but any tips on what to do in the meantime would be really gratefully received. He used to be so loving and energetic, it's like being with a totally different, totally self absorbed person.I know he really can't help it at all, and I want to help, it's just difficult after a prolonged period.
He seems to think that the only way his depression effects us is that it makes him low and he doesn't want to do much, but it's so much more than that. I feel it draining my happiness and really trying my patience. I want to be supportive, I'm not about to leave him, but surely it must get to the point where he has to take some responsibility for his own behavior, even if not his own mood?
Thank you all for listening, I don't have anyone else who will understand all of this.