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You don't have to go through this alone.

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:45 pm

Thanks.
I hope I can get the job I really want, that will be next week's interview,. Today's was alright but I wouldn't be using computers, it'd be more Manuel work. But I can't complain or say no, I need the money.
It hurts not being able to do what I want, but without any backing I will have to make do with other jobs. I really need that job I'm going for next week. No one will let me update my maths, without it I can't aim any higher.
I use to be in a full time unpaid placement helping people with computers but I ended up being shifted for a professional who was being paid for driving round place to place.
Again it was a team member who didn't like me and wanted me out of the way. The manager tried to do everything to get me stay on for longer but it was done and dusted the team member won and I ended up on one n half hour placement here and their. Don't get me wrong I use to love the New computer placement but it was for a couple of hours, the other was in a library for an hour which I loved but no one would offer me more work. In total I'd spend five hours a week interacting with the public, the rest of the time came down to interviews and being at home.

I've started looking for work via the train. I'd rather travel to get a job I want than have a repeat of Christmas last year.
Not happy but I just hope one day someone will give me a chance.
It feels like they don't want me to get paid work helping clients with computers and tutoring other things.
I'm sorry for whining, I just hoped I'd be working as a tutor, coach or in design.
Thanks

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:49 am

Part of the problem is when others get at me or prevent me from reaching my potential and rather than stick it out and fought, I shy away and walk, change my mind and chances of reaching my potential.
I wish I could stick up for myself and fight for my chance gaining paid work in computers.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1225
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Jan 14, 2017 1:05 am

Hi Kat

From what you have told us you are stronger than you think. Pair that with your determination and I am sure that, if you keep working towards it in the way that you are, you will reach your goal.

Wishing you well.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:32 pm

Thanks, I know it sounds harsh but when I was on holiday for a week, last year and the year before, I didn't have any neighbours saying things through the walls, to Me or my relatives. I so wanted to Say that I didn't want to come home to Neighbours who playing with my mind. I so can't stand living next door them, I want to look for somewhere else to live but the others I love with are stubborn to stay here. I just can't stand my neighbours and I wish they'd stop talking through the walls. It's not me, it's them.
I put an alarm on that annoys them, they think theirs a frog in their bathroom but it's me alarm clock. I've heard employee say to each other, I think theirs a frog in here. I'm not saying anything. They shouldn't mess with our minds.
I'd rather move but I can't afford it.

I can't wait for my holiday again, I'd take my pets with me if I could and buy a house or build one and start afresh.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1225
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:53 pm

Hi Kat

It must be tough for you. The positive thing in your post is the holidays when it's been better. You know it isn't always like this and know you are in control of your life and can make it better. That realisation is surprisingly hard to achieve.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:38 pm

Thanks, today when I was in the shop I saw this man take a picture of me, I just stood and stared at him, he jumped back and disappeared up the aisle. It was a good job I was at the counter and ready to leave. I still think I'd better off moving, but with so much going on I can't. I felt like shouting, hey you what you doing but then it could have ended badly. I just left.
I so hate it when strangers take pictures of you on their phones. It could have been something innocent, or to do with last year's temping but I've never seen him before.
I shall keep a sharper eye out, next time in the shops.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1225
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:02 am

It's great that you are identifying solutions rather than focusing on the problem. Very impressive.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:46 pm

I've been there and back, I find it easier to move on, than focus on the problem, it's easier to try and put on a front, move on than solve it. It doesn't do well to dwell on things.

kat32
Posts: 198
Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:30 am

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby kat32 » Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:40 pm

Today's outing was ok, on the bus going someone was talking about me and my family on the phone. I really wanted to go up and tell her to shut up. She constantly went on about my work history and how I put on my form about looking after family. The worst thing is I don't know her but she must have read one of my application forms. Why, what constitutes to data protection act. Their were a few others on the bus, but luckily it wasn't full, but that girl just broke confidently.

The rest of the outlining was ok, why is it that people have to talk private data over the phone in public places.
If I charged ten pound a second my name was mentioned I'd be a millionaire.

I'm just cheesed off not being able to go out without being slandered.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1225
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: You don't have to go through this alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:28 am

I think you are doing really well to ignore it. Confrontation will do no one any good. I'm starting to exercise to get rid of any anger / cheesedoffness, it really helps.


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