This is my first post with Sane.
I have been suffering from depression and loneliness for a long time now. I have had issues with drug misuse and am currently self-harming.
Tomorrow is a Christmas party from work. I work from home nowadays but I have worked for the company for a dozen years and have always felt isolated and treated as a pariah even when working in the office.
Now I have said I would go and have even bought a fancy t-shirt to wear but I feel very anxious about going.
I am not well versed in being social and usually end up as a wall fixture. On top of that, I can't even touch alcohol to 'loosen up' and 'get merry'
So I'm afraid about going and feeling excluded again or being made fun of but at the same time I am feeling lonely and self-harming and I could do with some human interaction.
Just don't know what to do or how to motivate me for going