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Want to stop moping

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
scarletohara
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:18 pm

Want to stop moping

Postby scarletohara » Sat Mar 02, 2019 6:17 pm

I am unapologetically feeling sorry for myself today.

I know people have much bigger problems and I do want to help others.

I feel at such a crossroads and I hate that work is what a lot of my self worth is based on but I am leaving a job I hated due to workplace bullying after 12 years finally and I thought i'd found my dream job but that ends March too. I am told it is due to funding but i've got it in my head it is something to do with me. I am so gutted as I put my heart and soul into it to the extent I have burned myself out.

I have been trying to apply for jobs but I just get severe headaches and I have no confidence. I just feel i have worked hard and deserved more.

I don't know how to pick myself up at the moment. I also had vertigo last week. I feel I am not seeing my friends or wanting to. I want to feel better. I am hoping for some encouragement

vitasw
Posts: 51
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:09 pm

Re: Want to stop moping

Postby vitasw » Sun Mar 03, 2019 1:49 pm

Hi scarletohara,

You don't need to apologise for feeling down, it sounds like you've had a big disappointment with your job, of course you would feel down about it. You don't need to minimise it by comparing yourself to others ("I know people have much bigger problems").

It sounds like you are very hardworking, to the point of pushing yourself beyond your physical/emotional limits. I think perhaps your strong work ethic and high standards are being used against yourself, your post is all about your perceived shortcomings. However, from an outsiders perspective, it sounds like a hardworking person who was good at their job was unlucky and has been put in a shitty situation (funding issues are real if it was something else they would have said).

Maybe rather than trying to force yourself to "pick yourself up", you need to give yourself a break. Let yourself be sad and disappointed for a while, give yourself permission to be a bit "selfish" and focus on your health. Then you will be in a better position to go after a new job where your capabilities can shine again. All the best x

scarletohara
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:18 pm

Re: Want to stop moping

Postby scarletohara » Sun Mar 03, 2019 6:33 pm

Aw thank you for your support. That post was just what I needed! Thank you so much! I think you are right. How are you?


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