Um, ok, I have been living with the effects of an invisible brain injury for many decades now. I had a brain haemorrhage in my teens, then surgery. I woke up with a massive headache one morning, my Mum went out shopping, and I collapsed while she was out. The only person in was my sister who found me on the floor. I remember thinking something was seriously wrong and made it to her bedroom.
After surgery and a number of months off, I went back to college with a shaved head, and carried on as normal I had severe fatigue and was mentally very unwell but as I am 'functioning' (ie no walking stick, no visible impairment) my family could not comprehend what was going on inside me even when things became obvious I was not coping.
I really struggle with not having been listened to. I cannot understand how my parents (well intentioned I'm sure) encouraged/pushed me to live a 'non-brain injured life' which meant encountering alot of loss and failure. Loss of jobs, loss of a relationship and loss of health, (to the point of being suicidal.)
This Easter my family did another perfect Easter meal. We are talking matching china, three courses and table cloths. I really struggle with being in this pseudo picture of
functioning normality. Often I haven't turned up, I did turn up this time but had to leave early. Does this make any sense? I am thinking about seeing counsellor to unravel this stuff.
Sorry about the waffling. I think I may have a bit of grief to shift. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.