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Think I need to get this sorted

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lobster
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:04 pm

Think I need to get this sorted

Postby lobster » Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:26 am

Um, ok, I have been living with the effects of an invisible brain injury for many decades now. I had a brain haemorrhage in my teens, then surgery. I woke up with a massive headache one morning, my Mum went out shopping, and I collapsed while she was out. The only person in was my sister who found me on the floor. I remember thinking something was seriously wrong and made it to her bedroom.

After surgery and a number of months off, I went back to college with a shaved head, and carried on as normal I had severe fatigue and was mentally very unwell but as I am 'functioning' (ie no walking stick, no visible impairment) my family could not comprehend what was going on inside me even when things became obvious I was not coping.

I really struggle with not having been listened to. I cannot understand how my parents (well intentioned I'm sure) encouraged/pushed me to live a 'non-brain injured life' which meant encountering alot of loss and failure. Loss of jobs, loss of a relationship and loss of health, (to the point of being suicidal.)

This Easter my family did another perfect Easter meal. We are talking matching china, three courses and table cloths. I really struggle with being in this pseudo picture of
functioning normality. Often I haven't turned up, I did turn up this time but had to leave early. Does this make any sense? I am thinking about seeing counsellor to unravel this stuff.

Sorry about the waffling. I think I may have a bit of grief to shift. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1729
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Think I need to get this sorted

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Apr 02, 2018 7:03 pm

Hi & welcome.

It does make sense. It can be a good idea to carry on regardless, to put events to one side and push on but sometimes pulling your socks up and cracking on just doesn't cut it. Sometimes we and those close to us need to accept what is and go from there. You mentioned grief. Have you had the opportunity to grieve over your injury, over what you may have lost? Counselling sounds like a good idea, if you google around you may also find self help groups for those with brain injuries. Sometimes being in a room with people who understand can be really validating and help us with acceptance.

Hope that helps. Feel free to post as much as you like here. Replies can be slow in coming because we are all dealing with our own issues but it is a great place to get your thoughts and feelings out without judgement.

Take care.


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