missflowers wrote:i would love a relationship too but am incapable ,probably forever because of my mental health issues
mihaela wrote: Don't try too hard to impress him or be perfect. The feelings you're having are just like mine would be in that situation. But after much confusion and role-playing I realized that it was causing me too much stress and decided I was happier living alone with my cats.
mihaela wrote:Hi, Kitty, and welcome!
I'm glad you liked what I said. It's interesting about the voices. I've never mentioned this on here before, for I see it as a very minor problem for me. I very occasionally hear voices when I'm in that state between sleeping and waking (hypnogogic/hypnopompic?), but I know they're not real. ....It's all very fascinating...
Because of the time when this happens I associate it with lucid dreaming - which I have about once a month. I really love those dreams for I can guide the events wherever I like and don't want to wake up although at the same time I am awake - but they don't involve all those random voices. I also very rarely have what I can only call mystical experiences with visual hallucinations, where everything becomes one and I understand everything. Very strange...
kittypae wrote:It takes someone really "special" to be able to share these things and how I like to describe as almost "spiritual" moments.
I tried sharing with my best friend, but she couldn't understand and it kind of ruined how special the experience was to me.
So for those moments (beautiful, sorrowful, and horrible), I journal or write and express it through other ways, like music and songwriting, or collaging pictures or coloring. Thanks for sharing - I don't know a lot about autism and schizophrenia.
I just know I have "auditory, visual and tactile psychosis" as those are the terms my psychiatrist uses.
emloja wrote:The answer is you should be with someone who accepts you for who you are. Have fun, and don't take life too seriously P.S. I know - easier said than done. You're not alone, do not fear
...the idea of being so close to someone that they are aware and accept me- perhaps accept and love me more than i do myself is really scary. I know people say you need to love yourself first blah blah but i am not getting any younger.
I sometimes feel a bit trapped as my desire for a relationship (and fear nothing will change if i stay single forever) is strong, however not strong enough to overcome my fear of getting close to someone and being vulnerable.
Before i formally recognised my MH issues (i was fully in denial for years) i always struggled with people loving me and seeing in me things i didn't - a kind of suffocating feeling.
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