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What's wrong with me??

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
helz81
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:44 pm

What's wrong with me??

Postby helz81 » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:26 pm

Hello I'm new here. I don't even really know where to begin. I'm looking for advice. I suffer with depression which I believe was more than likely triggered by the sudden death of my mum 10 years ago. I am on anti depressants, currently fluoexitine but I've also tried citalopram, mirtazapine and sertraline. Fluoexitine seemed to have stabilised me slightly but I'm experiencing mood swings and Im starting to wonder if this is more than standard depression. My best friend believes I have bi polar. She knows me very well weve been friends for 20 years and she has pointed it out to me that my high moods are very out of character. I can't stop myself spending money (on stuff I don't need) I've been spontaneously meeting men I don't know from online dating sites for one night stands in hotel rooms, even at some mens houses and Ive let them into my house too. This has been unprotected sex too Im ashamed to say. I have even accepted money for sex a few times as it gives me a massive buzz to go spend spend spend!! When im in a 'good mood' I feel as high as a kite, I've commented a few times to my friends that maybe I had taken double prozac by mistake I felt that good. When I get like that I can literally feel energy rushing through my veins. I get loads done around the house, attend gym classes, cook nice meals for the kids, manage ok on less sleep, Im very productive at work (I have an active job) I become more social, don't mind having a conversation with someone. Ive stolen earrings from a shop. It wasnt planned I just had the urge to take them. Then I drop like a stone. The tears come, no energy, no motivation to do anything in the house-dishes pile up all over the kitchen for days on end, the laundry basket overflows, I just about manage toast or a microwave meal or a pizza for the kids, I just wanna be left alone to my despair, go out of my way to avoid interaction with anyone, even my kids at my worst. I just don't care about anything. I have suicidal thoughts, I play scenarios out inside my mind of killing myself then watching peoples reactions as they find my body and at my funeral. I often wonder how much it hurts to be run over and killed by a car.

Does this sound like bi polar to anyone with experience wirh it? Please help

helz81
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:44 pm

Re: What's wrong with me??

Postby helz81 » Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:29 pm

Nobody?? :(

beach
Posts: 126
Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:52 pm

Re: What's wrong with me??

Postby beach » Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:05 pm

Hi there.

I have bipolar, and it was first triggered many years ago after being given Prozac for depression. It is one of the known facts about Prozac - if you have a predisposition towards bipolar, Prozac will trigger it.

Anyone taking Prozac who is also bipolar is given a mood stabilising medication to counteract the manic possibilities. Many doctors won't prescribe it at all for people with bipolar.

When I have been on Prozac I have also been told to stop it immediately (bear in mind it has a 'half life', so the effects will continue for a while afterwards).

I dont know if you have bipolar, but it does sound like the Prozac is causing some very difficult/dangerous behaviour.

A GP referral to psych services for an assessment would help. Perhaps take along what you have written here so that you can clearly demonstrate what is happening for you. It can be hard to get it across in a new environment, with unfamiliar people etc.

Also, there is MIND information line for more help, and google for local mental health call lines who can signpost you. Dropping into a MIND facility might help, you'll get a cup of tea and a biscuit, and everyone there will understand.

All the best, beach

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: What's wrong with me??

Postby amaya » Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:24 pm

Are you seeing a mental health worker of some sort like a psychiatrist or psychologist? Or is it just a GP?

It sounds to me like a proper diagnosis process would really help you.

How old are your kids?

And how are you doing now?


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