"im back bitches!!!!!"
Thanks for making me laugh out loud, for reals.
"a few weeks back i had a scary moment when i lost my temper after a close call with a car. i screamed abuse after it for ages (god help anyone who witnessed this outburst). afterwards i felt utter lost hopeless, confused, empty. then for a few brief moments, i wanted to be dead. ive been in the depths of despair before but ive never genuinely been suicidal before. it scared the living shit out of me. fortunatley i felt better quickly and have never felt that way since. im looking at it as my rock bottom moment. apparently to recover, we all need to go there first"
Did you talk to anyone professional about this experience?
"im definetly going to need shorter hours in the long term"
I hope you stick out for this and get it officially organised. Sounds like a great idea for coping
I am having a good week
after a really long depressive period it is welcome. Normally I would refer you to my thread, but I might be too tired to post there tonight, not sure haha
"I think those moments of wanting to be dead is your response to intense emotion. I have on occasion really wanted to kill someone. In a situation once my reaction to what somebody said was so intense that I immediately throught. Id have to kill myself. That feeling was very brief but so intense."
Deb, the exact same thing happened to me and it was the first time I ever selfharmed. I spoke to a psychiatrist about this recently and he explained that we try to control our emotions with our intellect, which of course we can't and then we get guilt from our perceived failure. I think this is an extreme example of this. He recommended allowing ourselves to have thoughts about killing people when we are angry and accepting them, not acting on them, but just basically learning to be okay with our own anger, because it comes without choice and is a valid way to feel. We only choose what we do about emotion, not about having it in the first place. It is advice that has really helped me to understand myself and so I am sharing it with you both.