Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

rage!!!

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
marcusmojo
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby marcusmojo » Sat Feb 10, 2018 7:12 pm

Hi Hu
I am new to the site but I get what you are saying about mixing with others, it becomes so difficult like a mountain to climb. I am so lonely at times that it makes me depressed, I don't have many social connections and constantly battling dark morbid thoughts. I often question my existence and what it's all about especially when so much of my time is filled with pain. I feel you would understand and it is good to chat to a person going through what I am. I have recently been overdosing so the doctors have stopped some of my pills, I am on so many. I chatted with the GP yesterday and she was supportive but the weekends are particularly painful with thoughts that everyone else is with their families and friends of which I have very little off. To me it is not a time of rest but of pain and regret. Thanks for reading any feedback is welcome.

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby amaya » Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:23 pm

Maybe you need a different job?

Hey :) sorry to have not been around much.

What is it that stops you from starting the conversations when you go somewhere?

marcusmojo
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby marcusmojo » Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:08 pm

I am not working currently but looking to get back into work as I think it will give me focus, social connection and self esteem. I usually hate Sundays but today has not been too bad. I have an eating disorder so social events can be difficult. I also have problems relating to people I can get intense and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which has actually made me even more anxious around people. But I am going to start looking for work. Thanks for your reply...

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby amaya » Sat Feb 17, 2018 1:33 pm

How are you doing Hugo?

christabel
Posts: 1969
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: rage!!!

Postby christabel » Sat Feb 17, 2018 8:08 pm

You are being missed on here Hugo. How are you?

Take care. Chris

sirhugo
Posts: 408
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby sirhugo » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:13 am

im back bitches!!!!!

sorry i have been gone for so long. i struggle using the forum on my phone so i usually write my posts at work. if youve been paying attention then youll now ive been off work for a while

first off i have to say that im touched that you were asking after me in my absence. its great to know that you genuinely care

so i have had a few ups and downs in the last few weeeks since i last checked in. my mood seems to have settled now and i rarely feel low these days. the zombie feeling is less noticeable as well.

a few weeks back i had a scary moment when i lost my temper after a close call with a car. i screamed abuse after it for ages (god help anyone who witnessed this outburst). afterwards i felt utter lost hopeless, confused, empty. then for a few brief moments, i wanted to be dead. ive been in the depths of despair before but ive never genuinely been suicidal before. it scared the living shit out of me. fortunatley i felt better quickly and have never felt that way since. im looking at it as my rock bottom moment. apparently to recover, we all need to go there first

so as you probably guessed im back at work now. its my 3rd day today and so far its been easy enough. my real team leader is off sick and the one whos covering is far more helpful and supportive. the irony. so far its been ok. on phased return right now, but the lines are busy as ever. im definetly going to need shorter hours in the long term

still in counselling and ive decided to focus on my social awkwardness and communication issues as it seems to be one of the biggest triggers for my depression these days. its been quite interesting and helpful. im not talking to people yet but im starting to feel less worried about it and ive stopped feeling as angry and resentful of people now. so good first steps

so how is everyone else getting on? ive missed all you bitches!!! :D :D :D

deb1960
Posts: 1614
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby deb1960 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:31 pm

Hi

We're very naughty not paying attention! lol.

I'm glad that you're back at work and feeling pretty good.

I think those moments of wanting to be dead is your response to intense emotion. I have on occasion really wanted to kill someone. In a situation once my reaction to what somebody said was so intense that I immediately throught. Id have to kill myself. That feeling was very brief but so intense.

Take care
Deb x

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby amaya » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:24 pm

"im back bitches!!!!!"
Thanks for making me laugh out loud, for reals.

"a few weeks back i had a scary moment when i lost my temper after a close call with a car. i screamed abuse after it for ages (god help anyone who witnessed this outburst). afterwards i felt utter lost hopeless, confused, empty. then for a few brief moments, i wanted to be dead. ive been in the depths of despair before but ive never genuinely been suicidal before. it scared the living shit out of me. fortunatley i felt better quickly and have never felt that way since. im looking at it as my rock bottom moment. apparently to recover, we all need to go there first"

Did you talk to anyone professional about this experience?

"im definetly going to need shorter hours in the long term"

I hope you stick out for this and get it officially organised. Sounds like a great idea for coping :)

I am having a good week :) after a really long depressive period it is welcome. Normally I would refer you to my thread, but I might be too tired to post there tonight, not sure haha

"I think those moments of wanting to be dead is your response to intense emotion. I have on occasion really wanted to kill someone. In a situation once my reaction to what somebody said was so intense that I immediately throught. Id have to kill myself. That feeling was very brief but so intense."

Deb, the exact same thing happened to me and it was the first time I ever selfharmed. I spoke to a psychiatrist about this recently and he explained that we try to control our emotions with our intellect, which of course we can't and then we get guilt from our perceived failure. I think this is an extreme example of this. He recommended allowing ourselves to have thoughts about killing people when we are angry and accepting them, not acting on them, but just basically learning to be okay with our own anger, because it comes without choice and is a valid way to feel. We only choose what we do about emotion, not about having it in the first place. It is advice that has really helped me to understand myself and so I am sharing it with you both.

sirhugo
Posts: 408
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby sirhugo » Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:43 pm

Your welcome bitches!!!! :D :D

I suppose the intense emotion thing makes sense. I was really fucking rage at that moment. im glad I haven't felt that way since. I take my hat off to anyone who has to battle these sorts of thoughts regularly. I didn't talk to anyone about it as it hasn't been repeated. don't think I need to worry about it

I have now officially filled out a form for part time hours. hopefully will hear back about it soon

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: rage!!!

Postby amaya » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:41 pm

I have extreme mood swings every day and it is almost impossible to live a normal life like that.

Let us know how it goes with the part time hours, it will be so great for you if you can get what you want :)


Return to “Mutual Support Group”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests