she sounds like my mum. just do whatever they choose. Its fine when were string enough to manage the behaviour and comments, but not if were not.
I feel for you, and keep my fingers crossed that your mindfulness techniques work better whilst she comes to visit. The fear of fear thing I can relate to also, its awful, gad your hubby is there for you and supportive, I'm sure that helps knowing someones got your back.
look after yourself, my minds a little full of late, but don't want to read the post and not comment,