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In a bad way

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
amaya
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby amaya » Sat Nov 11, 2017 4:37 pm

Hello :)

I hope your day improved from the wobbly to something more fun :)

Do you have things you know you can do to bring you mood up a notch on days like this? I have a sort of list developing in my head from suggestions other people have made or things that have working in the past like going for a walk, or learning something. Both those really have the power to change my mood. Also coming on here seems to really help not to feel alone.. so thanks for that. I hope even when you are wobbly you still remember that you are a good person.

Good luck staying patient waiting for those meds to kick in. I am sending positive thoughts to you x

deb1960
Posts: 1255
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:40 am

Hi amaya

My day improved a little thanks. Going out on the bus to the charity shop I work in or going to the mental health drop in helps. Obviously that wasn't possible so I did some crochet in the morning and it helped to steady my mood. I was distracted when my grandsons were here. I'm trying not to feel guilty or disappointed because I didn't enjoy their company. What makes it easier is that they are not sweet natured. They're five year old boys who are cheeky and wouldn't notice my mood and even if they did they'd forget it in a minute. My friend's grandson told her not to be sad cos he was there. She thought that was sweet. I would find that distressing - the pressure!

Like you, coming on here helps. We're all in it together. The Dunkirk spirit, as some people would say.

Take care, Deb x

deb1960
Posts: 1255
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:43 am

Hi rsxo

My sleep problems can be weird. I can't explain it too well. The last few nights have been better but I'm still wary.

How are you?

Deb x

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 957
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:30 am

Hi Deb

Hope this week went well and that things will be a little brighter next week.

deb1960
Posts: 1255
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:42 pm

Hi andthistoo

My sleep went better than expected thanks. I'm trying to dump my expectations of how my day should go. I think that makes things a bit easier.

Deb x

christabel
Posts: 1788
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: In a bad way

Postby christabel » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:58 pm

Hi Deb

I'm pleased to hear that you've had a few better days. I hope it continues. Just to get a bit of reprieve can make a huge difference.

I am what I call steady. I never push my luck because I know how easily things can change. I'm sure you will agree that the years give you more insight.
Having a few physical health problems at the moment is a bit of concern. Coped with having a biopsy last week. Will get the results in a few weeks time. I am more concerned with my sister who is having to start another course of chemo shortly. Makes me put things into perspective.

Being able to sleep after years of insomnia is great. Hope that you have a peaceful night and good day tomorrow. XxxChris

deb1960
Posts: 1255
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:19 pm

I don't know what to do. My anxiety is building up day by day. It's escalating and I can't stop it. I'm keeping up with my activities but am finding it very hard to be distracted. Today is considerably worse than yesterday which was worse than the beginning of the week. Other than carrying on I don't know what to do. I know it's my thoughts that are doing this. I tried to be mindful this morning and it helped very briefly. I find myself in a place I've never been before. I'm not depressed. Most of my anxiety is fear and I think it's fear of the fear. Has anyone else experienced that?

Deb x

amaya
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby amaya » Thu Nov 16, 2017 10:24 pm

Yes on a daily basis I am terrified of so many things. Also scared to get scared because I know how this has affected me in the past. so you are not alone :)

Distraction is good. But then also the mindful moments where you try to accept that it is okay to be scared are good. Because feeling anxious is actually okay. You are allowed to feel what you feel. And you are also allowed to enjoy a distraction because being mindful of painful and difficult emotions all day is tough.

You are doing okay Deb.. I think this because you are very self aware. You might feel horrible, but you will make it through and the anxiety won't always be there, but you can't make it go away.. you have to accept that you are anxious and not be frustrated with yourself. Or accept that you find it frustrating and love yourself anyway. It will come and go like waves but you will be there the whole time being the awesome person that you are :)

But *hugs* because feeling horrible and anxious is, well, just horrible x

deb1960
Posts: 1255
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby deb1960 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:11 am

Hi Amaya

Unfortunately the fear is always there unless I'm sleeping. Distraction minimises it. However yesterday when I was waiting for the bus home I made myself concentrate on things around me, the colour of peoples coats, counting inanimate objects etc. I carried on doing this on the bus, in the house, practically all of the time and so although not happy I was free of fear. I managed to watch a programme on TV and enjoyed it.

This morning I'm finding it almost impossible. I'm telling myself that it's because it's morning and so worse and that I'm in the house and that too makes it harder. Of course I'm now worried that I won't be able to do it again. But regardless, yesterday was a success.

I hope you are well,
Deb x

amaya
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: In a bad way

Postby amaya » Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:38 am

That's so awesome to hear. I'm glad it worked for you that has given me a great smile :)

It doesn't work absolutely every time, but I find it always helps a little, if nothing else you've tried and distracted yourself for a second or two.

I'm a morning person and if I am not ill they are my best times. But for anxiety they are definitely the worst. Since being ill I have come to dread them. Probably part of the reason it is hard to go to sleep. I have found the only solution is to get up, get moving around or doing something. If I can't get out of my place, then doing something indoors, if I can't get out of bed then going online with my laptop and learning something or, like this morning, I am here so that I don't feel alone. After a while of activity the worst of it usually passes now. But I did have a long time where nothing helped.. but you have to try because otherwise the illness wins.

Thanks for being here Deb.. reading your post has helped my morning to feel better and I hope yours will also get better :)


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