MASSIVE HUGS in response to your posts.
This is another piece in my jigsaw of responses.
It is wonderful that you chose to give yourself a present. The neck massager sounds great! What's his name!?
The osteoporosis and other things must be so painful and I am glad you are pursuing further diagnosis and help with the physical stuff as well as the mental stuff. I know it can be a very vulnerable feeling to pursue help but I was pleasantly surprised that when I was most open about that vulnerability with the CMHT was when they reacted by giving me the most help. Amaya mentioned more on this earlier and I can add nothing more to her excellent suggestions.
The anorexia must be so strange and difficult. I can relate to the edges of it. Compulsions, need for control, self esteem, fooling yourself, etc but that illness sounds in a category of its own and you have my deep admiration for coping as well as you do. I really wish there was some way of helping but short of a daily carpet bombing of the coastline with cheeseburgers and hoping one lands in your mouth...
Battle Royale featured a bunch of arsey teenagers being put on an island and forced to fight to the death by their teacher, only one could survive. Horrible idea but strangely satisfying for me to imagine your old college mates in that position.
Glad the mask stuff helped. I largely raised this in the hope that starting to think a little about this stuff now, without getting into dangerous waters yet, will help you make the most of your therapist provided CBT. It was when thinking about you that it occurred to me that our negative opinions of ourselves could also be described as a mask. That idea has helped me too. Helped me see it is as unrealistic and ridiculous as the masks I used to show other people.
The hypnosis sounds great if it is helping you to relax. You are the second person to recommend hypnotherapy to me. I may well give it a shot.
Your plans for 2018 sound great. You are worth every bit of effort you can muster and every bit of help you can find.
More jigsaw posts when more comes to mind.