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Alone.

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
Isap
Posts: 1542
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Alone.

Postby Isap » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:11 pm

Hi ATTMP and Em

Interesting posts to which I have no answers.

My JW pastor says there is not such thing as a soul because it is not mentioned in the bible. If there was a soul, it would never change, but people's personality can change as a result of brain injury.

All very confusing

Isap

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:04 pm

Hey ATTMP!

You ramble away, my friend. I love a good ramble, me!

You shared a lot of interesting points. Thanks for posting!

Ahhh... I am all too familiar with making the wrong conclusion that my broken mind has resulted in my whole entire self being broken. I agree that the mind and the body are one system. Perhaps because the mind sends signals to the rest of the body, it feels like the part that is 'in control' and thus more like 'us' as a whole. Our thoughts come from our mind. It is our thoughts that influence our consequent feelings, emotions and behaviours. The way we think, express our feelings and behave presents our personality. All of this together forms our identity, who we are....the entire 'US'. So perhaps when our minds are broken, we conclude that our thinking is broken, our feelings are broken, our personalities are broken, our behaviours are broken and finally that we must thus be entirely 'broken'. This, of course, is not true.

Nobody should feel any shame for an illness - physical or mental.

I think that difficult life experiences can most certainly contribute to people later suffering with mental health problems, but I agree that it is not the only reason. Different people are faced with different difficult life experiences and because we are different our reactions obviously will differ. For me personally, the reasons I experienced mental illness as a child were not the same reasons I have experienced a relapse now as an adult. I feel that there is simply no use in looking back at how things 'might have been if....'. I honestly believe that I could have experienced the same difficulties regardless. I don't know why exactly, but I do know that mental illness does not discriminate.

It really can happen to anyone so there is not a 'type of person'. Nobody would choose to have mental illness. I imagine the people who feel there is a certain 'type' of person who experiences mental illness have not experienced it personally...?

Interesting idea about looking to blame as a way of rejecting self. More important I feel to learn how to accept ourselves as having a mental illness without BEING a mental illness. So, yeah, my mind is a tad broken just now. But I am not entirely broken.

I also agree that the idea of us just 'pulling ourselves together' is to be rejected. If only it was as easy as that!! Mental illness is not a sign of weakness. I think it's the pressures of society telling us we have to 'be' a certain way that can lead so many to feel mental illness is a sign of weakness. Very frustrating.

I do hope some of that makes sense. If not, blame it on my mind. It's broken, you know.... Hehehe!

How are things with you? Xxx

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:24 pm

Hey Isap!

How are you?

Interesting points about the soul, both. I personally believe in life after death and that the soul is what lives on once the body and mind are no more. I believe the soul can be good or bad and that the thoughts, feelings, behaviours and actions carried out through our mind and body whilst we live on earth now determine this. I personally believe in Heaven and Hell and Purgatory. A good life on earth leads to a good soul and heaven.

But, I don't want to sound preachy here whatsoever. Nor do I want to get into some sort of religious debate, haha! I'm simply just sharing my own personal view. Hope that's cool.

Yeah, I agree with your pastor that a brain injury can alter one's personality.

Hope all is well with you!

Em x

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:55 pm

Hiya Deb!

I hope you made your bus that day!

Well done for accepting your illness. That is so positive. You have absolutely no reason whatsoever to feel guilty about having a mental illness. None of us do!

I hope everything is okay with you. Sending hugs back at you!

Em xxx

deb1960
Posts: 1490
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Alone.

Postby deb1960 » Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:01 am

Hi Em

I did get my bus thanks. I work from 8 til 10 a.m. mon to thurs and get a bus just after 7. It does me a lot of good. I suppose it kick starts my day giving my mind the best chance. Today Im not working. On a Thursday night I always feel good not setting the alarm and then when I wake up at about 7 I feel a low because my routine is affected. I do go out later though. I could go out as early as 9 a.m. and help in the charity shop. From 10am the MH drop in centre is open. But because these things aren't obligatory I don't get out until 11 or 12.

Broken is the word I always think of to describe myself.
I wrote this poem once. I wrote it for my husband but he says it should be for God
All I can give you is my brokeness
Shattered pieces of the me I used to be.
And all I can do is thank you
For telling me it's enough.

Em, perhaps we are broken in the eyes of society. But we are made whole again in a way we weren't before. Our suffering can help us lead a deeper, more authentic life. Mental illness affects my life badly. No matter how our suffering comes if we can suffer nobly, as you so clearly do, we are being all we can. God never asks for more than that.

Take care
Deb x

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:05 pm

Hiya Deb,

Yes, routine can help massively. That's so positive that you get out and work on those days. Is there something nice you could do especially for you on the Thursday night and on the Friday? You may have more motivation to get out earlier on the Friday if it was for something you know you'd enjoy, what do you think?

I know I personally need to introduce things really slowly so I'm going to volunteer at a self-help recovery centre next week. It looks amazing. I went there yesterday with my mother and the manager gave us a tour. My GP suggested I check it out. It provides holistic therapies in a relaxed, non-judgemental, warm and supportive environment for terminally ill cancer patients and their loved ones, elderly people who don't have any family, people who are gravely ill, and people with various physical illness, disabilities and mental illnesses. The manager shared with me his personal experience of PTSD and depression, so I spoke openly with him about my situation. He said that they strive for all volunteers to benefit from the service, too.

They provide reflexology, massage therapy, Indian head massage, homeopathy, hypnosis, relaxation, hydrotherapy and Bowen's technique therapy. He said I would be able to try out all the treatments and, in time, learn how to carry them out!
They also have a lovely sensory garden, a charity shop and their own Church. One evening a week, university medical students run an activities night and another evening a week they hold a craft and stitching group. I'm going there next Tuesday for the day.

I'll start with just one day a week. S-L-O-W and steady wins the race, hey? I'm really trying to break the habit of diving in full force and crashing.

Wow Deb, such beautiful and meaningful words! Thank you for sharing. What you said to me to close your message really meant a lot. Thank you.

In my own personal experience of mental illness, I feel it has deepened my empathy and compassion and has enabled me to connect with others who struggle.

Take care Deb and have a lovely weekend.

Love Em xx

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1228
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Alone.

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:26 pm

Em!

Your post made lots of sense, thanks to Isap and you for replying and not letting me feel I was rambling to the ether. ;) Not wise to encourage me to continue though, like most people I have more opinions than knowledge to back them up and I'm only too happy to share :lol: .

They provide reflexology, massage therapy, Indian head massage, homeopathy, hypnosis, relaxation, hydrotherapy and Bowen's technique therapy. He said I would be able to try out all the treatments and, in time, learn how to carry them out!
That sounds amazing! Baggsie first in the queue to experience your new skills!

Bowen's technique, is that darts therapy, including micro exposure to speedboats and such, help you get used to disappointment? (My attempt at humour for those older than you!)

I'll start with just one day a week. S-L-O-W and steady wins the race, hey? I'm really trying to break the habit of diving in full force and crashing.
:D :D :D YAY! :D :D :D

xxx

deb1960
Posts: 1490
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Alone.

Postby deb1960 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 12:12 pm

Hi Em

How are you today. Do you start your work at the centre tomorrow. It sounds like a great place

Take care
Deb x

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:51 pm

ATTMP! :D

Hello!

Ah, glad I made sense. You weren’t at all rambling. :) Although, despite living in a derelict town occupied predominantly by elderly folk, your Bowen’s Therapy joke went over my head. ;) Ah, to be young and ignorant. :lol:

‘Course! Roll up, roll up! Get in the queue for reflexology! Could totally do that on my market stall alongside my pots, what do you think? ;) Haha! I never did hear back from that market.... Rude. Haha! :roll: Still, the pot painting definitely had it’s place! Time to release my creativity elsewhere...! :D The centre does sound right up my street though, yeah. :)

I had another session with the therapist on Friday. She’s lovely. Really sweet. I’ve been offered 20 CBT sessions focusing on overcoming depression. That’s four weekly ones and then the rest will be every other week. Hefty. But it’s good. :)

The therapist is also going to enrol me on an 8-week Mindfulness course. I think it doesn’t start until April so, yeah, I’m still taking it all s-l-o-w-l-y. *applauds self heartily* ;) I also hope to see Ruby Wax at the theatre sometime between this Mindfulness course. She’s even coming to derelict towns, yes. :lol:

I had a few triggers on Friday that set me off feeling like a failure, but I was able to be assertive, talk about them and let them go. R-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w p-r-o-g-r-e-s-s with this. *not so much applause* Still, I’ll get there some time after those 20 sessions I’m sure. ;)

Had an AMAZING spa day yesterday though. Oh how I love a spa day! Made me see how much I miss spending time at the leisure centre spa too! So I plan to spend some time there in the near future to chill out. Not to excessively exercise (the pool is freezing!), but to relax in the sauna and steam room. :) I spent the rest of yesterday and today with my little niece which is always lovely.

How has your weekend been? Keep me posted!

Em xxx

littleem
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Alone.

Postby littleem » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:54 pm

Hiya Deb! :)

Pretty good thanks! Having a bit of a quieter day today but I’m accepting that I don’t aaaaaalways have to be super mega busy doing really exciting things in order to lift my mood. Some days are quiet, rainy, slower, less fun. It’s normal. :)

Still, today has been nice! Some family came around, I spent all morning using my acupuncture and massage kits, then I’ll go to Church this evening and watch Call the Midwife and McMafia. :)

The centre does sound good. I start Tuesday morning. :)

How are you? How has your weekend been?

Em xx


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