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Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:29 pm

Yeah mate. This thread is for me to be deeeep. Best create a new thread. I'll keep an eye on creative corner.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Jul 14, 2018 1:35 pm

Diary Entry, addendum

What I didn't mention in my last entry and which is also key is my catastrophisation, negative predictions for everything. These stem from my negative evaluations of myself and others and from the way my brain is set up to protect myself from the worst. These predictions form the heart of my lack of motivation. If you see all paths leading to disaster why bother walking at all?

Training my mind out of this appears to be important, compassion and respect for myself and others is part of that but so will be making a real effort to reprogramme my brain to see brighter possibilities. Experience will be key to that, trying stuff, taking risks but so will visualisation.

deb1960
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:33 pm

Hi andthistoo

It was catastrophising that caused my illness. I'm not as bad now when I'm keeping well but when the anxiety kicks in my catastrophising becomes a huge problem. I'm trying to use mindfulness on this. Just now my anxiety coming back but last week when I thought of something that would be awful I immediately thought 'well there's no point in thinking about that now'. So I wander if it's possible for that way of thinking to become a new habit. Is this something you've tried.

Btw analysing my mind is something I do a lot of too. For my part I think when it leads to changes, as is the case with you, it's worth the effort.

Well done on your continued self support
Deb x

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Tue Jul 17, 2018 4:27 pm

Hi Deb

Yeah catastrophising is definitely at the root of my anxiety. Part of my subconscious treats any activity, even the most prosaic, as if I am thinking of wandering down to the watethole where the hungry tigers hang out :)

Part of this is probably down to my background, when a child is under a lot of stress over a long period the brain can develop to prioritise the threat response system. Part of it is also down to habitation. Habits of thought are incredibly powerful but habits can be changed. Our brains are changing constantly and even the most well worn paths can be changed. Sticking at it appears to be key, constantly reinforcing the new message until your subconscious gets it.

It's kinda strange, I read back this thread recently and noticed I have raised these same ideas before. I think the difference now is that I am starting to accept this stuff deep down. Heres to hope!

littleem
Posts: 384
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby littleem » Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:50 pm

Hi Deb,

Hi andthistoo!

Thanks Deb. I was so pleased to hear you had such a good stint of feeling good! I hope you're still doing as well as you can be.

I'm glad you're having success with mindfulness.

In my thoughts and prayers,

Love Em xxx

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby teamn » Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:08 am

andthistoomustpass wrote:Yeah mate. This thread is for me to be deeeep. Best create a new thread. I'll keep an eye on creative corner.



I'm glad you said it, well Sir Hugo said it, :|

I often read your posts abd yep very deep fir me. From the start ,I really struggled with how to respond, abd I consider myself quite a sensible person.until I read your posts :lol: . But also I felt from the start as yiu says it was diary entries, fir your own memoirs almost (my words not yours) I read and just learned or understood more about self healing self understanding abd also yiu of course.

But yup I think my brain when I was in a black dog months last year , I just couldn't get my head in a place of sensible responding to such (as I see them) well, written almost academic like posts.

Today my brain seems to be working a bit better, maybe it's because I've been back mixing with people in the capacity of forming partnerships for a project I want to run, (had meeting today) so brain little more active and able to respond better to 'deep' comments, convos. (Think actually il use your posts as a barometer fir my mind kicking back into gear, if I circa abd can respond in a semi decent fashion, then I'll take that as a step in right direction that I'm ready to mix abd wire with others)

So that bein said, I also did what Deb did, and found that to attempt to stop catastrophosising I stopped my self from going further by thinking there's no point, that's how I had to handle my thoughts from January 2018 onwards, in order to really not take the tablets I had stored up months ahead. I weren't even sure it was working , abd actually you may have noticed Ive not really spoken much on it, during the months I was going through it or since returning to the site, I mean reflected back and written about it here, as I want sure it was going to work, my method of stopping the thoughts and also not fully out of woods although much better, but I now feel , although I always new(as I worked 4 two years with young adults with mental health) that RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY, not a final destination, it's a continued journey.. it's funny I don't mind talking about what happened or talking and reflecting, but as I do enjoy writing I felt that if I start writing about my reflections on here, it will become longer than Harry Potter series,and not half as interesting :lol: , and potentially leave me in a place of information and emotional overload.. so in writing as a way to cope on my journey of recovery, I also am mindful of what I write.. I think my recovery right now is grounded in mindfulness and control of thoughts and not to let things, people , events or my thoughts control me. Quite dufficult habit to break,

Another difficult habit is me not spell checking as I go along, and then not being arsed to go back through all the text I write. So apologies,

Anyway feel I've ranted.
I woke after a nightmare of sorts, so decide to come on here and just read through abd catch up.

Thoughts are always with you and glad your so great and introspection and self support, be proud and have a great weekend.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:57 pm

Hi Natalie

Not a rant at all, perfectly intelligible, even with the lack of spell check :lol: . I'm glad you find some parts of my posts a help, responses are welcome but there is no need to respond unless you want to although it is always nice to hear from you.

Thanks for the compliment on my writing and thanks for telling me how you approach stopping the thoughts. I will bear it in mind. Recognising them is the key hurdle for me, they are so automatic they can slip past but I am slowly learning to notice and question my thoughts and predictions more. When I can see what I am thinking I am beginning to be able to laugh at the ridiculous thoughts. I agree recovery is a journey and I try not to let my impatience and need for a conclusion to take control.

Well done on not taking that pill hoard. I think the support project you have outlined elsewhere sounds great and I am full of admiration that you are being creative in the truest sense, taking responsibility and bringing your ideas into reality. I hope you appreciate that this isn't something everyone could do even without depression / anxiety issues (I know I would be incredibly unlikely to get beyond thinking about it). I hope you take the time to recognise the range of skills and abilities you have to make this project possible. Deeply impressed!

My sleeping is awful at the moment but thankfully no nightmares that I remember in a while. I find in kinda funny that even my anxiety dreams have changed so that something scary happens in the dream but then it works out ok. :lol: Shows all this work I am doing is having a positive impact on my subconscious!

I hope you managed to get back to sleep and the rest of the night was peaceful.
x

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby teamn » Wed Jul 25, 2018 5:32 am

Hi,

Not sure why it's taken me so long to really, I remember reading it, but think I must have fallen asleep after reading one night. So apologies fir delay and spelling, I'll try spell check this one as I'm going ;)

Yes recognising negative thoughts can be difficult as they do skip past, I e been working on this fir a year and half now, so it's no way road, no quick fix, but definitely see a change and improvement in my thinking, and therefore my actions. Your style of laughing at the thoughts sound like a moment of great fun and also epiphany moment, quite euphoric and exhilarating too I'd imagine!

Aha...I just remembered why I could answer immediately, I had moment of self doubt, when you told me how impressed etc that you were of me, not self doubt more self love, self acceptance of my skills, acceptance of the compliment, recognising it as your truth. So at the time, i knew there's was some inner self talk that was needed, so that I could come back and respond authentically with a THANKYOU, and mean it and Allow your words to be the truth and accept them as truth.

We're so easy to accept something crap somesays abuyt us, but don't know about you, but noticing more and more how internally uncomfortable I get when someone says something nice or respectful. I'm like oh wow you see that, you think that, you believe that about me!while externally I'm all oh thanks and big smiles and one liners..

Anyway I think a post that I responded to earlier (which you also did, about a user asking how to become resilient to pain or being let down..can't remember specific word). But it has really (subconsciousLy) prepared me to answer this post , it made me take what yiu said in Love an,

So thankyou so much for what you said.. :)

I didn't realise you had nightmares, obviously something I missed in your posts, sorry to hear that, but interesting that the context of dreams and fabric, are changing as you manage your thoughts during day, amazing power of our mind aye.

Up again as this early morning been up since 4ish I think, getting to be a habit now, but at least it gives me a quiet moment to think fir myself without nose if my works, the world, my daughter needing me or my son. These early morning wake ups have become my ME TIME for hour or so..And then I get back To sleep. But I often have very blurry eyes while trying, as although I'm awake I dint put on lights, or sit up, I'm laying down writing,and letter the natural sleep take over me when it needs, so my early morning ramblings may be even more badly spell checked than the afternoon ones..lol.

I'm going to recheck this though, well the majority of it.. (need automatic spell check on the iPad :roll: ) lol

X

Hope you had good night rest and hope your week so far has been off to great start.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1415
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:25 pm

Hi Natalie

It is the truth as I see it and you are welcome.

I can relate to the reaction to compliments, including the one liners to make a joke of it, that was paired with putting myself down before others got the chance. Both simple and self defeating defenses. If you don't build yourself up you can't be knocked down but you are just putting yourself down instead so what is the difference? The difference for the child I was is avoiding the pain of being knocked down, the rejection and contempt I interpreted from that treatment. Time to put away such fears for both of us.

Yeah, being able to laugh at myself and everything else has always been important to me and you are right, it is great fun when I recognise a ridiculous thought prompting a self defeating action and I have been known to laugh out loud.

Me time is so important, I am glad you have managed to carve out that hour for you. You deserve it.
x

deb1960
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:10 am

Hi andthistoo

How are things going with you?

Btw SSRIs cause vivid dreams. I remember dreams most of the time. I don't have nightmares but I do have a lot of unpleasant dreams.

Take care
Deb x


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