Sending a big e-hug your way! Please know I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry to hear that things are feeling so difficult and overwhelming right now. You WILL get through this. Heck, your username even tells you so! - And this too will pass! Keep strong, your authentic self is fantastic.
It's positive that you're able to identify when you need to share and off load and I'm glad that you have friends to chat with and support groups that you can access which are helpful. Keep talking.
I can definitely identify with your description of depression. Please hold on to the fact that - despite the pain and turmoil and emptiness - you are STILL going forward. You are not stuck and you have not gone backwards. You are strong, you are living and you are winning. I know depression is absolutely vile BUT positives CAN ALWAYS BE FOUND no matter how bad things feel. Hold onto them.
I know depression is one hell of a s*** sandwich, but remember.... S*** sandwiches are not the only sandwiches out there. Heck, some sandwiches are down right bloody terrific.... Like those wheelbarrows full of delicious cheeseburgers that all too often promenade along a familiar derelict seafront bringing life, excitement and new opportunities to a decrepit population of old, toothless pickled-onion-sandwich eaters.... Hehehe.
Aww I am really worried about you having so much pressure on you at work. I know our situations are different and I know that you know about my personal struggles with employment, but before I accepted my limitations with regards to work and decided to put my mental and physical health and my happiness and recovery first, I was under immense stress. For me personally, a pressured environment, a lack of sleep and becoming ill are all warning signs and triggers. Please be kind to yourself and do whatever will benefit you most. You deserve to be as well and as happy and as healthy as you can be.
Perhaps you could share how you're feeling with your employers? Could you share this with your therapist too and see their perspective? Just a thought. I know that you are very insightful and self aware.
The weekend is soon approaching. I wish you a nice weekend and hope you get some (hey, or loads of it!) sleep, some good rest and that you do something nice for you. You deserve it.
Thinking of you my friend. Do take care of yourself.