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Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby amaya » Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:11 pm

ATTMP. There is also an element of thinking too too much going on here. Just sometimes, try to forget everything your head knows about you and your process. Try to forget about yesterday. Your goals for a far off future. All the intangible things.. just let them go and breath in and out one or two times.

If you know you need to get up and go do something, take those breaths so you are free to do it without thoughts.

I think way way way way too much. Sometimes it is better to do.
In the perfect universe where we are all healthy enlightened being I am sure being is more important that doing. But for those of us who struggle with being and get too easily stuck in thinking, there is also just doing.

Not thinking. Doing something.

Still not thinking, ah no, not even now. Whatever it is you need to be doing.. just do it :)

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1517
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:06 am

Thanks Amaya

Good advice and a much needed reminder to bring mindfulness to everyday activities. It is helping.

deb1960
Posts: 1699
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:16 pm

Even if your mental health is related to your brain structure it is the case that through working on your mental health things can improve. You work so hard to help yourself. I really admire you.

Hope is a slippery eel. For me it comes and goes and from what you've written I'd say that's true for you too. At the moment hope feels too difficult. As you know, that's the nature of the beast.

I hope your mood picks up soon.

Take care
Deb x

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1517
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:35 am

Thanks Deb

I admire you and the rest of the regulars too. We all have our own ways of keeping the flag flying, we don't give up.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1517
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:57 am

Diary Entry

If anything has become clear over recent weeks it is that my life is far better with pills than without. Still feel rotten but I am managing it better than I was.

Not restarted meditating in any frequent or regular way but Amaya's advice helped me to remember the value of everyday mindful activities, to really see what is in front of me, to really feel the ground beneath my feet and the food in my mouth, to see the words on the computer screen. If my mind is full of the here and now then it is not full of yesterday and tomorrow, not full of negative beliefs, predictions and fear. Started using the Worrytime app again too. Free app which lets you write your worries down at any time but sets a specific time each day to access them and worry. With regular use you train your brain to worry much less at other times.

I am also ensuring balance between work and social activities and being more open. This is really important, as is sleep. Not touched alcohol since January, didn't drink much anyway. Caffeine is an occasional necessity not a habit, doing everything within my control but no instant cures, need to create habits, even though I hate habits and routine, hate feeling trapped.

Still overeating massively. Really need to rein this in to help reduce general aches and pains, the pains in my knees, the pain when walking and to feel better in general. Hell, really struggled just to put on socks this morning. :o Besides, if my physical health improves I will be allowed head pills again. ;)

In general I'm feeling really low and really scared. Successful at letting thoughts of suicide pass on by but they are more frequent all the same. Something fundamental has changed though. I really don't think I will make an attempt unless things became unimaginably worse. Suicide is on my mind but no longer feels like a realistic option. This is a good thing but adds to the feeling of being trapped.

deb1960
Posts: 1699
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby deb1960 » Sat Feb 17, 2018 11:22 am

Hi andthistoo

Really scared.. ...that resonates with me just now. It's strange but I often think my fear is the worst and yet everyone's fear is awful for them. Fear is so debilitating. I'm trying to say to myself that i have no choice but to live with this. What a trial for you and all of us though.

Take care
Deb x

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby amaya » Sat Feb 17, 2018 1:17 pm

You are doing really well I think, whilst you are feeling so terrible, you are making all the right steps. It won't change for the better quickly, but gradually. So you are going to be feeling bad for a long time. But I honestly think things are going well despite the way it feels. And I hope that the social things you do will give some happy moments to break things up. You have already achieved so much so try not to be so harsh on yourself :)

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1517
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:02 am

Hi Deb

You are right, fear is so debilitating and it is tough for all of us.
I'm trying to accept it, not put up with it but, as Amaya says, it will take a long time to feel the benefits and we do need to remember to be patient and not to be harsh with ourselves. One step at a time and congratulate ourselves for taking that step.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1517
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:43 am

Diary Entry

Turned out my inability to do much yesterday was due to exhaustion. I discovered this when I was asleep within 5 minutes of getting home.

Woke up 3 hours ago and have been pottering since. Time to do something constructive before the tiredness overwhelms me again.

littleem
Posts: 414
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby littleem » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:03 pm

Hey there!

Sorry I haven't posted in a little while. I'm just popping in to let you know I'm thinking of you and rooting for you. I think you're great and I hope you're as well as you can be right now.

Take care of yourself and have a nice weekend. Do something nice for you. You deserve it.

Thanks again for the support you've given me.

Em xxx


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