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Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
teamn
Posts: 295
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby teamn » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:14 am

No they gave no reason, but I don't have phone, as it went through washing machine and as I owed money on the bill I have to clear the bill before they issue me new phone, but I have such limited funds (on one benefit - which is another all together depressing issue, as I've never received benefits always worked since taking first Saturday job while studying), so they can't phone, but I did give them my email, so they could have and SHOULD have emailed, or better yet, just turned up to the appointment! Grrrrr :roll:

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 958
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:56 am

That's awful. Are you able to get to their base and talk to someone in person, find out what is going on?

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 958
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:26 pm

Diary entry

Finally saw GP and convinced her that a change in meds is required. Blood test first as expected. As far as medication goes I'll try anything short of ECT if it will give me some motivation. Medication is my big hope now. The CBT and CAT I've had over the last few years, plus the Mindfulness and ACT I've learned have helped tremendously. Real positive differences in how I think and feel about myself and others. Real positive differences in my personal relationships (I actually have some :D ) real positive differences in my working relationships too. My emotions are still all over the place but because I have learned to identify, validate and accept them without dwelling, they are no longer overwhelming or explosive. I know where I want to go from here and I know how to get there. Summoning the motivation, believing in a positive future, is the tough bit. Hopefully medication will help with that.

amaya
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby amaya » Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:40 pm

Sounds like a plan :)
Let us know what happens and I hope your bloods will come back good.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 958
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:00 pm

Thanks

teamn
Posts: 295
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby teamn » Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:22 am

Sorry fir the late replies, I keep forgetting which posts I've commented on! Obviously spoilt fir choice :D .

Update since then, the Sw visited on Friday, so I'll see what her feedback is next week or week after. Post her assessment of me.

Brilliant diary entry, the part where yiu say you now where yiu want to go from here, is a brilliant place to be in, I'm happy for you, and hoping thevmeds will support the process of yiu motivating yourself with that. What is ACT? I was trying onguess, all I could guess was Alternative and Therapy, sure I'm way off? And what is ECT? Guedes includes Electric and therapy :D

Also really great that your relationships are improving, both personal and professional. Cudos to yiu, and your commitment to yourself ,to your recovery to, your wellbeing.. you really sound in charge of your recivery and have good grasps on what works fir yiu and what doesn't
.

All the best and have brilliant day

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 958
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:30 am

Hi Natalie!

Good news the wheels are moving with social services, I read what you said about them having not much influence with housing but a report may help your case.

Thanks for the feedback. I have come a long, long, way over the past four years. ECT is Electro-convulsive therapy *shudder*. As I understand it they give your brain a series of electric shocks strong enough to convulse your entire body and hope for the best. No thanks! ACT is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It is basically Mindfulness with a few important bits bolted on. There are some free resources here https://thehappinesstrap.com/free-resources/ and if you are able to get a copy of the happiness trap book I recommend it. Failing that, Isap is the resident ACT expert and I am sure he can tell you more.

You have a brilliant day too!

teamn
Posts: 295
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby teamn » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:51 pm

thanks for the explanaition, and the link,

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 958
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Dec 09, 2017 11:55 pm

Diary entry

Work has slackened off until the New Year and the release of pressure is tremendous. Didn't realise how stressed I was.

Meds. Appointment in a couple of weeks to discuss but it depends on the results of the blood test. My doctor won't want to prescribe much because of physical health issues so it is up to me to convince her that me looking after my physical health is dependent on being in a better place mentally.

Habitual self defeating patterns of behaviour. Still strong but I intend to invest some of the time I have over the next few weeks in progressing with ACT. I want to try to use mindful observation to break the patterns too. A good idea from my therapist was to chose something else to do instead, a distraction or less damaging compulsion. Replacing one for another worked when I gave up smoking and when I cut down on beer, should work for other stuff too but will be just as tough as giving up the ciggies, which took a lot of time and effort.

Depresson. Negative predictions are still strong and difficult to challenge. Partly because there is some truth to them, I can't and never will get back the decades I have lost to ill health. It is highly unlikely, even if I started looking after my physical health tomorrow that I will live to retirement. It is highly unlikely that I will ever have enough capital to live the life I want in my last decade or two without working. It is highly unlikely I will ever have a family or experience so many other things. There is still a lot left to live for though. So much left to see of life and I am starting to believe that maybe even loving relationships are possible for me. When all is said and done though, if someone told me I wouldn't wake up tomorrow, I would be content for this to come to an end.

Anxiety. I still have strong anxiety around certain specifics and I don't think I will ever be truly comfortable with other people but the anxiety has reduced markedly and I am happy about that.

Self Esteem. Slow but definite progress.

Emotional Resilience. This has improved markedly. The mood swings seem to be reducing and, although I want to succeed, I can take rejection, failure, etc without an emotional firework display triggering. I still want to work more on this and I have some useful materials on emotional discomfort and self compassion to work through which may help.

Overall, massive progress for me. If I could give you a picture of where I was this time 4 years ago or even 4 years before that then you would see the massive progress in every area which I am both happy about and proud of. The Depression and the self defeating patterns of behaviour will take longer to address. Hopefully, ACT, Mindfulness and Meds will help. I just have to use this extra time I have to commit to taking action to support my values while accepting that I am not superman and that these things will take time, that there will be setbacks.

amaya
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Postby amaya » Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:48 am

I am sleepy but I just wanted to tell you I think you are awesome, and that I think you can have more than your predictions will let you see :) I hope you are already sleeping well or having an outrageous amount of fun somewhere :)


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