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About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

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carebear
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Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:26 pm
Location: North West

About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby carebear » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:46 pm

i'm so tired and have given up... my life is about to change. I have decided to express interest in redundancy severance as i cannot cope with my job no longer with the discriminating side of things. it's making me ill..there will be compulsory redundancies soon as well so i might as well get double now and walk free... i am off on annual at the moment but just cannot face going back into work on thursday... i've been to gp yesterday and she want to see me again on weds.. i can't go back to work, i can't cope.. i've already kicked off in work last week and totally lost it banging on the desk and slaming the drawers. I am so frustrated with everything plus the move to a different office... alot have happened in the past few weeks. I have been victimised in my own home by one of the neighbors. i've had my car tyre slashed, fences broken, kids throwing stones at my windows all because of my disability... disability at home and in work... i can no longer cope. even though at the min i feel fine, but it just numbness... in some way i am trying to deal with it. All week i have done nothing but research ways in how i can save my house once i am unemployed but there doesn;t seem to be anyone out there who will help unless i am unemployed. i will now have to wait till i am unemployed to find out how i can save my house.. cahnces are very limited..I've been in teared all week with the fact that i want to leave my job cos it's making me ill. i am not happy with my job..

I just don;t kknow what to do, or where i will be next.. what will happen to me. is there a future, what is that future.. wil i lose the house, what if i did this? it's just so hard that there have been times when i've wanted to top it all... i've tried to thinkk what mattered to me the most and that is my family, friends, my dogs, cats and the car.... these is all i want...

I need a break from work.. i feel that i am not well enough to go back to work.. i need time out.. i need to think about my health before i start thinking about working full time again... i need to learn to trust people and slowly go back to work when i feel well enough... but i just don;t know if i will be allowed to do what i need to do.. this is what i want... it's either this or it's the end...

PLease help...

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judithj
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Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby judithj » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:52 pm

it depends what sort of mortgage you have: DWP will pay some of your interest but not the capital, but if you get paid redundancy you might be able to use this to reduce your total mortgage. could you go to CAB and get some advice? ask your gp whether trying to continue work would help you or not.
sorry not feeling great either, hugs, Judith xxx

scotty1
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Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby scotty1 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:57 pm

Carebear
Just want to let you know I was in a similar situation as you last Nov. I went sick from from then . I decided to leave the job as I knew I could not go back by March of this year. I had worked there over 20 years. it was a job I loved, but I was burnt out, depressed and stressed.
I also have a mortgage too and like you was worried about everything.

However, what I can say is that its the best decision I made. I feel so much better but it has taken me months and I still not able to work.

I have sold my flat, moving in with family for a while in the next few weeks and starting a fresh in a different part of the UK.

Sometimes things happen in life for a reason. I can't say its been easy and the journey is not over yet. But its has made me value certain aspects of who I am and the people on here and what they are going through. I never thought this would happen to me, it did, but some things in life you have to accept and work through. Just like many of the lovely and caring people on here are trying to do every day of their lives.
Things will work out for you and you will get through this but the journey won't be easy.

scotty1

kasskaa11
Posts: 365
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:23 pm

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby kasskaa11 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:18 pm

hi carebear,
i, too am at the other end of what you are facing... i had to lose my house, then my job,
i got a rented flat pretty quick, got points for financial ruin or whatever they call it, as scotty
says its not a smooth journey, but i see now i made the right decision [ or rather circumstances
dictated the decision]..

if someone told me two years ago id lose my home and my job, i wouldnt have believed them...
i now live a relatively worry free life, and dedicate my time to my recovery, im 50 now,and still
have hope for the future [god yeah i have darkest deep despair] but i always did anyway, and now im dealing with my ilness/wellness head on...

to quote scotty again, things do happen for a reason, and at the time that reason isnt always clear,

please dont give up,

im not saying giving up your house is the answer for you, as judith says there is help and support
to help you remain in your home,


very good luck, hope things go well for you

xoxo

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caz
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Location: Northwest England

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby caz » Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:58 am

heya carebear, i would recommend going to see CAB like judith says, they can help you whether you are employed or unemployed, when you go to your gp on wednesday ask her to sign you off and see how you feel after a couple of weeks whether you can work your redundancy or stay on the sick but please look after yourself and dont hurt yourself hun , i am here if you need me carebear xxxxhugsxxxx
“The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us.
It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."


Where there's a way out.....I will find it!!!!

brachypelma
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Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 2:35 pm
Location: On a crusade

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby brachypelma » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:13 pm

Can you not extend your time off for a few weeks longer? see if you can do something peaceful with your time like a week's holiday or as such. Work is very stressful and changing office and environment you are used to can be a difficult thing to have to face, slamming draws and banging desks a good and un harming therapeutic response but can see how it can also cause more stress.

Your neighbors are way out of line, paying out for new car parts is very expensive tyre's are not cheap. Is there a safer place to park your car? or maybe install a video camera or micro camera to the area of your car? if you can catch them then call police and then make the ******** pay damages to your car. I found a micro cam that does the job for my bikes, cheap and simple can activate on sound etv, if you like search up micro DVR camera's. Windows also not cheap especially if you own your own home, sounds like you need a change from all this rubbish your having.

Agree CAB may help with your home status, there are also more to try... let me remember shawtrust helped a friend much the same way and there are others alike it but obviously dont know your area.

Have you also looked into reporting the discrimination as a hate/discrimination crime?
x
Time takes away the last few moments..

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby umbrella4therain » Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:48 pm

http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/abou ... -helpline/

I dont know if they could help advise on the discrimination. I think it might be worth a try and citizens advice as suggested by others is I think a good idea. I am sorry to hear things are so hard. xx

carebear
Posts: 871
Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:26 pm
Location: North West

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby carebear » Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:03 pm

judithj wrote:it depends what sort of mortgage you have: DWP will pay some of your interest but not the capital, but if you get paid redundancy you might be able to use this to reduce your total mortgage. could you go to CAB and get some advice? ask your gp whether trying to continue work would help you or not.
sorry not feeling great either, hugs, Judith xxx


Hi Judith

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear you are not feeling great.

I have been to the CAB but he was more of a debt advisor. I need to see someone for advice in this area... I am aware of mortgage interest payment support but i'm just not sure what category i have to be under to get this support.. I can only wait till I am unemployed and pray that my house will be safe.. If not, the other option is to move back to parents and let it out, but I beleive that letting the house put is still an income therefore I would not be able to claim any benefit. The other option is to sell up and move back to parents but it will be very hard to get someone to buy with the way the marketing is... in a pickle i am... The redandancy money is crap what i am being offered however i have mentioned about suing them for discrimination and HR have mentioned about asking for a settlement fee on top.. and i have to come up with that figure.. i've worked out that with the redundancy money alone, i can pay the next 4 months bills, and 6 months if i get the settlement money with the figure i'm going to request for.. I've done my research and no matter which path i end up on, it's the same outcome as the other paths therefore there is a no win outcome..

Carebear x

Lucretia
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Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby Lucretia » Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:10 pm

sounds like you are really struggling carebear.the worry over money can at times be overwhelming for everyone,and that it concerns your house security,im not surprised you are stressing.
you are more important that anything else though,the thought of losing your house must be dreadfull but you need to put your health before anything else
x
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

carebear
Posts: 871
Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:26 pm
Location: North West

Re: About to lose everything i've worked for... *TRIG*

Postby carebear » Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:12 pm

[quote="scotty1"]Carebear
Just want to let you know I was in a similar situation as you last Nov. I went sick from from then . I decided to leave the job as I knew I could not go back by March of this year. I had worked there over 20 years. it was a job I loved, but I was burnt out, depressed and stressed.
I also have a mortgage too and like you was worried about everything.

However, what I can say is that its the best decision I made. I feel so much better but it has taken me months and I still not able to work.

I have sold my flat, moving in with family for a while in the next few weeks and starting a fresh in a different part of the UK.

Hi Scotty

Thank you for your kind reply.. It is a job i oonce loved but now longer a job that i applied for 8 years ago.. so much have changed including my Disability..I feel burnt out, depressed and stressed with working.

I know i am making the right decision to quit ahead while I can as it's making me ill.. Giving up the job feels right. I need to focus on me, get better and then think about what i want to do with my future.. slowly building my confidence up and eventually go back to work full time if i think i can managed it as currently i can't.. i can;t cope with the stress.

What frightened me is, what will happen next, will i manage to keep the house or do i just sit back and let things take it course... sometimes, like you said, things happen for a reason... and hopefully what ever happened at the end of all this will be a big weight lifted off my shoulder and i can carry on with life with no worries.. what i don;t want is finanacial worries...

carebear x


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