I really don't know what my plans are. I've been crying most of the night because one of my little cats, Tara, was dying. I feel so guilty for going out for a few hours yesterday, for I should have been with her. When I got back at 3pm I found her in the hall, and thought she was dead, but she wasn't. I tried to feed her liquids and every so often she seemed to come round. She was very floppy, and I couldn't stop crying. Then at 6.30 I took her to bed and held her and I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up at about 11 her life had left her, so I got up and wrapped her up, and now she's on the floor in front of me, and I feel scared.
I'll have to bury her some time soon. I won't be going to sleep again tonight, as I usually get up at 2ish anyway. I'd love to get up later at about 4ish as I used to be the clocks changed. Twice a year I have this trouble.
I have Asperger's and my animals are very important to me and I can't live without them. I feel so unhappy, and only found this forum because I was looking up suicide. My life has been full of sadness and I find it very hard to cope.