Ive been battling with my own thoughts for a long time now, however, recently it appears to have got worse.
Its strange as I can't seem to find a reason as to why I might be depressed; I have a relatively decent job, good health and a young daughter.
I feel as though this life really isn't for me and keep comparing it to a prison sentence. I've never spoke to anyone about how I feel, yet I have been told by a few people I need to go and speak to someone purely based on the way I act.
The reason I'm posting today is my thoughts seem to be getting worse and have now started including intrusive thoughts about harming others and myself again. Just today I was in the bathroom at work and found myself looking around to see what I could use to end my life.
I'm not sure whether mental issues can be genetic but it may be worth noting my dad commited suicide when I was a young kid.
I booked an appointment with my Gp a couple of weeks ago and ended up cancelling the appointment last minute because I don't know what to say or whether I actually need to go.
Which brings me to my main question; am I at the point where I need to go and speak to someone or will it be fine to keep plodding on?
Thank you to anyone who can offer me some advice.