stuboo wrote:I said years ago to a psychiatrist that I think I have an addiction to thinking negatively. I don't think I could have put it any better. My attempts to think positive, be grateful etc are the equivalent of trying to hold the ocean back.
I am glad to have met you here. I feel your pain and said to my psychologist I could not face another 20 years like the last 20. That was 6 years ago and I am just starting my recovery after my 7th and most dramatic breakdown. Whats different this time is, sh!t I don't know, but it is. I am now thinking 30 years left is not enough!
I'm sorry, I don't have a simple answer and would not recommend the route I took (not a suicide attempt) but I now KNOW a change can happen. Trust your faith, stop pushing, and try to stop over thinking.
Negative thinking and over thinking are habits we have developed as some form of coping therefore they can be changed. Not easy, so not easy.
Try and focus on the times you have helpful thoughts, it might only be one a day/week/month at first but hold on to it, nurture it. After a while you'll start to notice these thoughts more and you will be developing a new habit. That's the process - actioning it is much harder but I believe you can do it.
Be gentle with yourself, listen to your God in everything, God has not left your side, you have only forgotten how to hear.
Keep in touch with the forums and your support network.
The world is a nicer place with you in it
Hugs and Love