I suppose like many of you, I stumbled across the Sane link via the NHS website.
So, this is my hello post
Mini background -
I was initially diagnosed with an adjustment disorder just over 6 years ago, when within one week my (now ex) wife started divorce proceedings (I was too fat and always at work), my mother passed away (no more family) and I got myself sectioned due to significant self harm...which cost me my job and security clearance, not the best week I had ever had to be honest.
Trying to avoid triggers here while giving a background...so moderators please feel free to edit, I won’t be offended.
Through various mental health professionals, the general consensus was that I have always had, to some extent, depression and anxiety (digging back into school days, university and so on).
During the grief period of my mother passing, I used to write songs on an online blog, one of which a women’s self help group asked if they could publish it; Of course I said yes...the reply was along the lines of - Oh, we didn’t realise that you were a man.
A bit harsh I thought, but there we go. But writing the songs was a release in ways, but also, for me, a spiral downwards at times.
The next couple of years were not fantastic, mini-sectioned a few times under section 136 - don’t get me started on “place of safety” or what really happened in the “Cuckoo’s Nest” though
Anyway, fast forwarding, these days I still take anti-depressant medication Sertraline (150mg has been the dose for a year or so) and still have the smog of low mood that comes from seemingly nowhere. Sometimes it disappears in minutes, sometimes in days or weeks - but never at work, which is strange as I rumble around my head all day creating cryptographic algorithms etc - not exactly a social job, go figure!
I am no longer a patient of the mental health team, but my doctor sees me every couple of months, she is very understanding and seems genuinely interested I must say.
Of concern, if that the depressive moods, when they arrive they do tend to start out with the how do I stop feeling like this cloud - I’m sure you all know what I mean by that. But I have a firm no entry to actioning anything that appears in that smog.
I have shared custody of my kids, my ex wife and I are on really good terms and I lost 6 stonne in weight, so no longer fat! (But still ginger, one can only do so much...
I think what I’m trying to suggest with minimal tiggers in my long winded way, is that things do get better, or at least stabilise, which is much better than the alternative.
I hope at some point I will never get the smog (as it does get worse and worse, hence the medication - not much else for me as I need to keep my newly acquired clearance) other than the usual normally things that happen to anyone, though I doubt I’ll ever be medication free, which is a shame.
Anyway, Hello everyone, keep fighting the black dog and smog