I've never been an open person, hate feeling vunerable which is fed by my anxiety. I think/trying this may help and make it easier to express.
I've been suffering with anxiety my whole life. I used to have night terrros that were not visual, but I could feel them. Its what I recognise today as anxiety. However I've got to a point where I am not in control of my anxiety.
I've been here before. I've been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for over 10 years and no one knows. I've been to the doctors, been laughed at, been advised also but it's something I never follow through with. Being from England, luckily we do have the NHS which is a blessing but the waiing list is 6 months and I either "feel" better by then or too scared to go through it and admit it.
I lost my mum when I just turned 17 and yes, I know a lot of others have and I always try to live my life by there is always someone worse off, but it's something I have never dealt with.
Im having a rough time at the moment for various normal life reasons but I'm not reacting in the way I want or feel in control of. And all I really want still, is my mum.
I've been trying calming techniques which work sometimes, other times don't help at all.
I guess what I really need help with it expressing this to my doctor for help. It's like if I finally do that it becomes real to me, like somehow everyone will know. But I do need help and have for a long time. I tried to go to an emergency centre this evening but I got turned away as it was too busy.