Hi, Im new here I found my way to this site via various links, thought I'd have a go to see if there's anyone in a similar situation to myself and who may be able to offer any tips or guidance.
I feel very isolated in life. I have no family - no siblings, a very elderly frail mother who lives 2 hours away, no close aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Im divorced (10 years ago), no children. So its just me. Day in day out.
I go to work, I go home to an empty house, I sleep, then do it all again the next day. Every day.
I have a few friends, though none that I feel I could confide in about this.
I feel very envious when I hear people at work talking about their families, what they get up to; their husbands, children etc. Christmas is a particularly bad time, its just me and my mum watching the TV in her living room as she cant get out much. Winter is the worst time for some reason. I have to do something - I don't think I can get through another winter being like this again.
I just want someone to connect to who understands what Im going through, I feel so alone in this world. I sometimes think, who would come to my funeral when I die!
Lately Ive been seriously thinking of moving away to a new area, making a fresh start. New area, new job, new house, new everything. Would this help or make things worse? I just don't know. My brain and thoughts just keep going round in circles trying to find the answer to all this. Its making me ill, like I cant get off the treadmill. I cant keep doing this. I have to find a way to either accept this and get on with my life or find the solution but I don't know what or how.
I keep trying to find someone in a similar situation but everyone I come into contact with has family of some sort, either kids, parents etc. Ive thought about a counsellor but I cant afford this and there's a huge waiting list through the GP. Ive been on anti-depressants in the past which do help in the short term but I want to sort the underlying problems not just mask them with pills.
Im at my wits end. Is anyone out there in a similar situation who can offer some advise?
Thanks for reading! x