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dan18
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:15 am

Newbie Here

Postby dan18 » Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:41 am

Hey Guys I am 26 years old and a Newbie Here who is quite embarrassed and might not make any sense so please bare with me..

About 3 years ago now I officially got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but they think it is all linked to my childhood where I experienced 3 horrible things ( I was about 4-5 years old when the 1st thing happened) . Only come on here to talk about it as ive just spent the last 3 hours lying in bed crying my eyes out and having a panic attack reliving those events over and over.

doctors have confirmed i have ptsd because of these events.

Im find it hard to open up to anyone have done all my life,

I cant seem to get any appointments with my doctors, i have only seen my councillor once for mental health and no further appointments have been made and cant get hold of them. Would like to know what i could do to get the help and support i need?

When i try and leave the house to go places i walk to the front door and i have a panic attack but when i managed to get of the house and it's like a voice in my head that tells me not to look left or right to see if cars are coming when crossing roads or when on public transport my mind shows me how im going to die and everyone on there and i can vision it all. (not like final destination)
When im in public and there are loads of people around me i panic as i cant seem to get out or its like they are all looking at me, judging me, laughing at me, making comments about what i am wearing i just feel like i cant get away and i find myself shaking to the point if someone touches me i jump a mile or even worse smack them.

my panic attacks can affect my personal hygiene. i cant have a shower if i am the only person in the house as i get scared someone is breaking in or has already broken in and is watching me

Ive currently on ESA as it was affecting my job as my medication im taking was not allowing me to wake up at the time i needed to and i was on probation but my work didnt care about my mental health. I have just recently applied for PIP which is just another thing im worrying about which i dont know why i am.

Just hate how much its affected my life. I feel like i have no friends no family no support no one. everyday im living just breathing someone elses air who deserves it more than me.

Family members telling me to get a grip of myself and find a new job and get back out their as there is nothing wrong with me and it makes me thing am i making all this up? surely not?

i dont know who i can turn too?

its even when i do go to the doctors, im there in the waiting room my head is telling me everyone is talking about me, laughing about me they are all looking at you. then when i walk out after seeing the doctor my head just goes they think your mad your just making everything up nothing is going to make you better these tablets are just tablets they do nothing but dissolve in your body. this then makes me not go to the doctors then for months and months and puts me off from ever going.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1251
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Newbie Here

Postby andthistoomustpass » Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:03 am

Hi Dan

Sorry to hear you are having such crap experiences. You are welcome to post as much as you like here. We all have issues and we don't judge.

I won't be the only one who can relate to the symptoms you have described.
The good news is that they are very treatable. It will take time and effort but most people can get better. The dials of fear and anxiety can be turned back down to a more manageable setting.

It is a shame your family (like much of the world) don't get it but mental health problems are as real as a broken leg, just not something others can easily see.

You said you only had one session with a counsellor. Why only one session?
Have you also been referred for therapy to the community mental health team? If not, who diagnosed you with PTSD?

Take care

dan18
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:15 am

Re: Newbie Here

Postby dan18 » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:48 pm

andthistoomustpass wrote:Hi Dan

Sorry to hear you are having such crap experiences. You are welcome to post as much as you like here. We all have issues and we don't judge.

I won't be the only one who can relate to the symptoms you have described.
The good news is that they are very treatable. It will take time and effort but most people can get better. The dials of fear and anxiety can be turned back down to a more manageable setting.

It is a shame your family (like much of the world) don't get it but mental health problems are as real as a broken leg, just not something others can easily see.

You said you only had one session with a counsellor. Why only one session?
Have you also been referred for therapy to the community mental health team? If not, who diagnosed you with PTSD?

Take care


Thank you for commenting back.

My councillors said maybe the best treatment would be theopy for me and he would arrange this but it could be a wait for this service but it's been at least 4 to 5 months and I don't like to keep ringing people as my head keeps making me feel so low with horrid thoughts which prevents me from contacting them.

I spoke to a online councillor before heading to the doctors for more support and they suggested that I may have ptsd as the stuff I witnessed when I was young us haunting me and I get nightmares and flashbacks to those moments. But when I was young my coping technic was shoplifting and I don't mean just penny sweets, when I was 5 to 6 I would take a black bag to my local shop centre and open up toys and put them in the bag and once it was full head home and throw them all in The bin. The doctor them confirmed that those 3 iccendents and how they were affecting me can be classed as ptsd.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1251
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Newbie Here

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu Jan 04, 2018 3:02 am

Hi Dan

I'm glad you are on the waiting list for therapy. It does sound like you need more help than most counsellors are qualified to provide. The waiting lists for therapy are horrendous but I am glad you have confirmed you are on the list. When was the last time you checked back with them? (it took me months to pluck up the courage to do that but I am glad I did). It varies by area but I would hope you are not far away from an assessment session now.

When was the last time you saw your GP? Tough as it is it would probably be a good thing to chat with them about treatment options if you can.

In the meantime feel free to post as much or as little as you want here. We all have our own issues and all posts are read even if replies may be slow in coming.

dan18
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2018 3:15 am

Re: Newbie Here

Postby dan18 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:53 am

andthistoomustpass wrote:Hi Dan

I'm glad you are on the waiting list for therapy. It does sound like you need more help than most counsellors are qualified to provide. The waiting lists for therapy are horrendous but I am glad you have confirmed you are on the list. When was the last time you checked back with them? (it took me months to pluck up the courage to do that but I am glad I did). It varies by area but I would hope you are not far away from an assessment session now.

When was the last time you saw your GP? Tough as it is it would probably be a good thing to chat with them about treatment options if you can.

In the meantime feel free to post as much or as little as you want here. We all have our own issues and all posts are read even if replies may be slow in coming.


its the same with most things these days, but we cant complain.

I havent checked for a while how long it will be till i see someone, do hate hassling people as i just think im wasting their time but i know i am not deep down. but i just got to do it.

I do need to go back to see my doctors its been a good couple of months since ive seen them and it might be good idea looking at my meds again or even other possible treatments or supports. its just getting the courage to picking up the phone and arranging that appointment. and not listening to this head of mine.


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