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Struggling with relapse

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Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:12 pm

Struggling with relapse

Postby natalie88 » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:24 pm

Hi all

I've ended up here looking for some support for anxiety and bulimia, I've been bulimic for 10 years and until the past couple of years it's always something that I even avoided thinking about as a problem I always believed I was greedy and lazy and that was my problem. I've had anxiety since I was a child and never realised it until this year when I stated therapy. I've had 6 months of cognitive behavioural therapy which hasn't fixed the problem but left me feeling alot more able to cope and more positive for the future.

I finished my therapy on the 22nd December and I think it was all too much for me I've been mega anxious about Xmas and food and seeing family and all the usual stresses that Christmas brings and then on Christmas day myself and my partner got drunk when we haven't drank for a very long time. This ended in a huge argument and violence to the point where I've smashed his belongings up my flat window is smashed which has set us back alot money wise and alot of hurtful things where said to each other.

The anxiety and guilt and self loathing that I've experienced the last week have been extremely to the point where I've felt I've let everyone down and that people would be better off without me, darkest place I've been in a long time after feeling like I was doing so well! I know this was a drunken mistake and things with my fiance are fine we've talked it through but I feel like the whole thing has set me back 6 months.

I've exhausted talking to my mum and partner and I have the feeling that being a burden even though I know that isn't true, it's making work really hard and I just feel like I have no where to turn or what to do next.

I'll be catching up with other posts and Feering help where I can to other members so I'm hoping this is that bit of extra support I need.

I really don't know the reply I'm hoping for to be honest I just don't really know what to do with myself at the minute I feel like I've forgot how to be kind to myself.

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Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Struggling with relapse

Postby teamn » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:15 pm

Hi Natalie

What lovely name, although I'm probably biased as that's my name too lol. I unfortunately do not know anything about bulimia, so will not even try to offer support on something I know nothing about, hopefully some other person on here can assis. But I did read yiur message and can emphathise with what your going through, lack of support and feeling overwhelmed.

Alsthough I think if your partner and mother are supportive you should definitely not feel guilty about leaning on them when you need it, so don't be hard on yourself fir doing that. Hopefully you can work throug the arguement that you've had, we all make mistakes, especially when alcohol involved.

As I said I can't offer too much advice, but wanted to say something and not just read and pass by.. take care

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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Struggling with relapse

Postby Isap » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:23 pm

Hi Natalie

I read your post and offer you my fullest support. Im sure things will turn out ok

Isap x

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