Thanks for your message. It sounds like you have a good relaxing repertoire! I will work on expanding mine- my meditation ap told me yesterday that i have meditated for ten days in a row- so maybe i haven't been doing as badly as i thought! Thinking about it now- I am in a rut at the moment - you have helped me to reflect that i don't actually do much anymore and there are many things i used to do that i don't anymore- I used to do pilates a while back and enjoy baking-so i may think about getting back into these. I also loved crafty type activities - but stopped after my perfectionist tendencies took over a bit and created more anxiety than enjoyment- but again that was a while back so it is time to revisit. I am feeling a little more motivated so need to not get ahead of myself and gradually get back into things. I don't know about you, but as soon as i start to see any light i want to feel fully better and then try and rush into things too quickly.
I think i just binge watch to extreme- so just blast my head with TV so i cannot think of anything else and it just makes me feel lazier and less motivated- but yes, i think i need to be kind to myself about this all.
Yes, my mother hasn't mentioned anything about the prescription. I know i should confide in someone- i have never really done this and find it so difficult. Again something i need to work on as i know it is a barrier to my recovery. I did liaise with my counsellor and she was great, we have come up with a plan which i am happy with. It made me feel so much better as i think it makes me feel less isolated and reassured that i have someone to check in with-she knows me quite well and is able to challenge me and remind me of strategies etc to develop. My head now tells me that i shouldn't be weak and that i am regressing as i am going back to counselling and i haven't moved on. I did honestly tell her about my continued anxiety visiting her. Your message helped me to reflect on this a bit more. I wouldn't be able to get someone to accompany me to therapy as no-one knows i go! ha ha!
I am continuing on with the higher dose - been on it for a week now- glad it isn't just me who dithers about the change in dosage! I mainly see the GP either every 3 months or after a month if i have had a change in meds. I do tend to just put in a repeat prescription if i can. I always write a massive list of things to talk to the doctor about- i end up so anxious that i end up not being able to express myself or answer anything properly- i always decide before the appointment that the doctor may suddenly decide to take me off of my meds or change things drastically- which i have no evidence for. I also convince myself that she sees me as a pain and doesn't really listen or understand me. This is all probably in my head tbh.
How has your week been? How are you doing on this journey we call life? Are you still on meds? Are these working for you?
You have been so generous in your message- thanks it helped a great deal!