Thanks everyone for your kind words.
Today i took the step of going to see a gp. They have prescribed me mirtazapine to take to help me sleep and build an appetite again, but having read the side effects i feel reluctant to take them. They also recomend me going to a therapy session to talk things out but they say that the ex should go as well. Theres no point asking her as shes ignoring everything from me now, even my requests just for a chat.
Im having good hours, bad hours. Right now its good, but i had my 1st breakdown earlier and that just made me feel weak, even tho i know it was a good release.
Ive talked to my folks, and it was probably one of the most difficult things i have done, but feel we are all better for it and they now understand that i need to shut away sometimes, and sometimes i will need to talk or have a hug.
I just cant shake the feeling of being alone and the hurt she has left me with. I just want someone i can chat nonsense with