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Scared Confused and lost Newbie

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breatheinandout
Posts: 292
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:03 am
Location: UK

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby breatheinandout » Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:56 pm

Hi John,
I've just replied to Ob, so glad you saw it to reply quickly - knowing you're not alone is really important i reckon.

Teamn has hit the nail on the head - it is just one night. And my least favourite night of the year! When i have managed to get myself to some sort of big gathering, I never actually have that good a time :) I've always had a bit of an extra dread about it - the pressure to have a good night. But actually its too much - always expensive, busy, hassle getting home, people being annoying.

I like to start a new year with a fresh head and no hangover - alcohol makes things worse as it is a depressant. So i think your plan is a good one. On new years day i like to go to the park and say hello to the local ducks and if i feel sad thats ok.

It can get you down being on your own on NYE, but there is no shame in it, and you are not the only one. My tips - stay off any social media and settle down with your favourite film or boxset.

If you need to talk to anyone, there are various helplines in the UK
Samaritans 116 123
CALM (campaign against living miserably :D ) 5pm-midnight, helpline for men 0800 58 58 58
Mind 0300 123 3393

After years of staying in, I am actually going out to dinner with my brother and parents - hopefully an enjoyable rather than stressful evening - but I will be in bed by 11pm if i get my way.

I'm sure there will be people on the forum too tonight.
Why did i pick such a long username?! Do call me Biao :D

johnbeln
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:08 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby johnbeln » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:56 pm

Hi Biao/Teamn


I here you i actually just sat down and decided there is nothing I can do to change the situation
I just need to cope.

Biao have a good time at your brothers

Teamn I will do my best to treat it as another night no difference

Thanks

JohnB

ob77
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:13 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby ob77 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:16 pm

Just as you said it for me, ill say it to you.
Im alone tonight as well. My parents are here but im not in the mood to go and sit with them and try to pretend alls good.
If you need someone to talk to then i will be here

Ob

johnbeln
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:08 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby johnbeln » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:44 pm

Hi Ob

Thanks I think it will be around midnight when I will feel it the most
I may just post something just to clear my thoughts even if no one is up around that time

Thanks again

Johnb

ob77
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:13 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby ob77 » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:47 pm

Tbh mate i was thinking exactly the same thing. Ill b around

Ob

johnbeln
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:08 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby johnbeln » Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:50 pm

Hi Ok

JohnB

johnbeln
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:08 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby johnbeln » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:18 am

Hi All

She has just walked through the door!!!!
My daughter and her partner are here so the atmosphere is strange to say the least
I had got my head around just being on my own now I don't know what the hell is going on

She has not said much to me just talking to our daughter and her bags are still at the front door

I will update you as soon as I can

OB: I will still be online don't worry we will get through this night...

JohnB

ob77
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2017 12:13 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby ob77 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:37 am

At least she is there. U might get some answers. Mines not coming. I hope you get what you need from her but u need to concentrate on you and them. Ill be fine. Its just any other night.
Good luck

Ob

johnbeln
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:08 am

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby johnbeln » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:03 am

Hi Ob

I hope you are ok

JohnB

teamn
Posts: 295
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Scared Confused and lost Newbie

Postby teamn » Mon Jan 01, 2018 1:01 pm

I hope you don't feel any worse today than yiu did yesterday, and that the atmosphere wasn't too difficult
May I suggest something? Can you not take yourself away for a week or a few days, to a hotel or bed and breakfast, let your mind rest, sort your head out, get someone else to cook and clean (in the hotel), and more importantly while yiur finding your own headspace, it may dawn on your wife that your not predictable and when she feels tonyst pop in the house without communication then, she may find that your just not there. I think yiu deserve some since just to kowegetger your coming or going and with hef walking in and out I'd imagine that's a bit difficult.

Just a suggestion, based purely on wha I would do, I understand it may not be the right thing fir yiu just yet, but please remember to put yourself as priority fir your own sanity and wellbeing,how long will her actions continue, how long can you cope with this current situation, 1 day, 1 months 1 year.. only you know , but I think she's definitely ding what's best fir her,she doesn't feel what your feeling, so yiu have to manage your own emotions around the current situation and find a way that works fir you, until yiur both ready to deal with what s happening
Lots of love


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