No problem I have been thinking about you a lot x
"I have printed off your reply as it has so much valuable information and insight."
Maybe whatever is relevant you could take to a doctor or some professional you have a contact with to see about what they think and what the next step for you might be. It sounds like you really need some extra support and someone to think with you on this one. I can give you my thoughts and if they help then that is awesome, but I think we are both people who need a professional to help us progress.. if we can find the right one!
"I am going through a very bad patch, struggling with self harm and all the usual." *hugs*
When you are feeling distressed, try to treat yourself as you would a friend in the same state. Be kind to yourself as much as you can x
And never apologise to us for the times when you only have the energy to come on your own thread. That is absolutely fine. I find that just having you here to talk to is already supportive actually.. so you never have any worries there x
I hope your evening went okay and that you will have a peaceful rest tonight