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caro
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:21 pm

support

Postby caro » Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:26 pm

I've not been here for quite along time.

Just wondering if Mihaela is around ? i'm needing some support, and would really like to chat .
Of course, I will understand completely if this isn't possible xx

breatheinandout
Posts: 285
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:03 am
Location: UK

Re: support

Postby breatheinandout » Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:33 pm

Hi caro, how are things with you? Not sure if I can help but I just wanted to say hi as I'm online at the moment :) so sending you a wave through cyberspace.
Why did i pick such a long username?! Do call me Biao :D

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 947
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: support

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:18 pm

Hi Caro

Mihaela bobs in and out every couple of months, I'll drop her an email for you.

caro
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:21 pm

Re: support

Postby caro » Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:45 pm

Thank you both for replying.
Im having a tough time at the moment. My emotions are everywhere, and im not sure what to do with it all.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 947
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: support

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:23 am

I find typing my thoughts and feelings out here is a great start to dealing with them. You are always welcome to do the same. I sent the email but if Mihaela is not feeling so hot she tends not to log in to the internet at all so she might not see it. We'll see if she responds.

caro
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:21 pm

Re: support

Postby caro » Sat Oct 14, 2017 10:21 am

Thank you. I find writing things down helps me too. However i am very concious of bringing people down, and fear the 'trigger' word too.
Mihalea has written extensively about what i am going through. Infact her words on here are the reason i possibly have found the real me at nearly 50 years old!!
If she is reading this, thank you so much xx

rsxo
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: support

Postby rsxo » Sat Oct 14, 2017 11:20 am

Hi caro,

Just came here to say hi and offer my support! Hopefully Mihaela sees this soon for youx

Much love <3
RSxo <3

mihaela
Posts: 898
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: support

Postby mihaela » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:52 pm

Hi Caro, It's me out of hibernation. I'm so glad I've been of use to you. I only read ATTMP's email today, so I hope I'm not too late. If I can help you in any way, please get in touch.

I'll be back on here tomorrow, and I'll try to come back daily, health permitting. x

caro
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:21 pm

Re: support

Postby caro » Tue Oct 17, 2017 2:49 pm

Hello Mihaela . Thank you for replying.

I have not been on here for a long time, but I read your posts on female aspergers.

Over the years, from a 15 year old, i have been diagnosed with anorexia, anxiety,depression, GAD,and EUPD/BPD. I do not dispute any of these diagnosis , but i still felt there was something missing. For instance, it did not explain my struggles as a child.

Thanks to your posts, I was able to look into aspergers. At 49 years of age, i had an ASD assessment.
Mihaela, i have to wait a few weeks for the verdict, but I know it is going to come back as positive.

My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I finally fit, after not belonging , but I also feel so many negative emotions.

The little girl who struggled so much at school , and was made to stand outside, or was yelled at for being frightened. The teenager who nearly died from anorexia, and was told to stop being an attention seeker. The mother, who cried when no one spoke to her when picking up her children from school. The adult, who was a high achiever at school, but unable to have a career. I am also angry at the consultant psychiatrist who diagnosed my BPD, but didn't think there may be something else which caused the disorder in the first place.

I really wanted to say thank you for raising awareness of female aspergers. I feel very much out of my depth, very vulnerable, and very emotional. However, I also feel like I have an answer to why i find life so difficult.
Thank you xx

mihaela
Posts: 898
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: support

Postby mihaela » Wed Oct 18, 2017 10:25 am

caro wrote:Over the years, from a 15 year old, i have been diagnosed with anorexia, anxiety,depression, GAD,and EUPD/BPD. I do not dispute any of these diagnosis , but i still felt there was something missing. For instance, it did not explain my struggles as a child.


All these are likely to be due to your autistic sensitivities - apart from one. Very often it's the obvious mental health difficulties that generic psychologists and psychiatrists notice, and they miss the less obvious, but far more important, underlying autism. When they suspect 'something more' than the usual depression, anxiety, OCD, etc., they usually dole out an EUPD/BPD diagnosis for good measure - especially in women. This is very bad practice. Also around 15% of anorexics are on the autism spectrum, and it makes sense they are mainly female. Only recently has the strong autism connection been noticed, and recognising their autism has prevented deaths and suicides.

I know many claim that AS and EUPD can occur together, but in reality this combination is rarer than what is claimed, for many professionals don't like removing a (mis)diagnosis before adding another: autism - sometimes many years later. EUPD is the commonest misdiagnosis for women who in reality simply have AS/HFA, and that fact has made life very difficult for very many women - sometimes for decades, because the wrong treatment is given - and also because of stigma and lingering doubts. EUPD is not listed here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condition ... _disorders

This covers the dual AS/BPD diagnosis - very technical but interesting:
http://www.clinicalneuropsychiatry.org/ ... _hetta.pdf

But I can understand how someone with autism can develop EUPD, especially if they were emotionally abused (or physically, or sexually, but it's the emotional content that crucially matters. Autistic sensitivities predispose us to EUPD, when traumas hit us). Unlike the usual autism-related conditions, which are caused by how we manage and react to our autistic sensitivities, EUPD would be caused by the actions of others exploiting or abusing those sensitivities. I have some EUPD traits, but untangling them from my autistic traits is impossible.

I hope your assessment does turn out positive. It'll be like a heavy weight being lifted off your shoulders.

My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I finally fit, after not belonging , but I also feel so many negative emotions.


Emotional rollercoaster rides are normal for all sensitive types - and that includes all Aspies. Add EUPD and the dips and highs are greater, and maybe more frequent. DBT would with this. The stresses don't go away once we are diagnosed - but at least we better understand their causes, and hopefully that helps us find better ways of coping.

The little girl who struggled so much at school , and was made to stand outside, or was yelled at for being frightened. The teenager who nearly died from anorexia, and was told to stop being an attention seeker. The mother, who cried when no one spoke to her when picking up her children from school. The adult, who was a high achiever at school, but unable to have a career.


I'm afraid all this is so typical of undiagnosed female Aspies. It's so very sad that our lives have been made so difficult for so long, simply because we were misunderstood by others.

I am also angry at the consultant psychiatrist who diagnosed my BPD, but didn't think there may be something else which caused the disorder in the first place.


So would I be, but let's remember that very, very few professionals are trained in spotting AS in women - although the numbers are at last growing. The system has let us down very badly - and continues to let us down... myself included.

It's good to know that I was able to help you by guiding you in the right direction. Sometime I need reassurance; it makes me feel that it's worth carrying on here, ploughing a lonely furrow. I suppose what drives me is the injustice of it all, and if I've prevented just one person from going through needless suffering it'll be worth it.

[quote]I feel very much out of my depth, very vulnerable, and very emotional. However, I also feel like I have an answer to why i find life so difficult.[/quite]

I feel just the same, but at least and at last, knowing why I do helps compensate for the pain.

Feeling for you, Mihaela xx


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