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Amaya

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:34 pm
by amaya
Hi everyone I am new here, just thought I would post to say hello to start with :)

Re: Amaya

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:41 pm
by andthistoomustpass
Hey Amaya!

Well fancy meeting you here! ;)

Everyone is really nice here, you should fit right in.

Feel free to take a look around and post where ever and whenever you like.

Re: Amaya

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:48 pm
by amaya
Thanks :)
I am so sleepy I might have to save the looking around properly for another day.. but I at least wanted to find you and Em :) I am glad I managed to sign up eventually.

Re: Amaya

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 12:17 am
by littleem
Hey!

Welcome!

Great to see you here!

Hope you're well.

Em xxx

Re: Amaya

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:41 am
by amaya
Thanks Em.
Today I am really struggling. I have so much I want to get done right now, especially some painting outside while the weather is good. But I am so very tired and I have been crying a lot.

Re: Amaya

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:36 am
by andthistoomustpass
Hi Amaya

You are allowed a day off, even from recovery. Don't beat yourself up, maybe you needed that today and tomorrow will present something new.

Re: Amaya

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:22 pm
by littleem
Hey Amaya,

Sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Good days and bad, hey? It's okay to not be okay sometimes. Don't be hard on yourself.

No use making yourself paint if you're too tired. If you're tired, let your body rest and be kind to yourself because you deserve it.

Do you know what's making you feel teary?

Take care of yourself,

Em xxx

Re: Amaya

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:27 pm
by amaya
I didn't paint yesterday. But I did get the scaffold in the right place and sort everything I needed ready for painting. Today I painted and tomorrow I will finish the job so that is going awesome. You are both right I needed to cry and rest. I saw my nurse yesterday too for an appointment and she really helped me by listening to all my ranting and crying and then by walking with me to the supermarket so that I could get a bit further with my day. She is really awesome.

Today I have done a lot of painting and eaten a nice evening meal with W. My best friend, ex and hopefully future partner. It was an awesome day and now I am completely exhausted.

The tears were a mixture of PMS, I get that pretty bad for one week a month, tiredness, I haven't slept properly in months but the last two or three days were particularly difficult, and just sadness that at the moment we aren't together and I miss him and our life together so bad. Sometimes the tears just come and don't want to stop. That used to give me a panic attack or a crisis.. but now I am working on accepting that it is okay to cry, because my situation is hard and sad and crying is an appropriate response from time to time. If I accept it I don't get into a crisis. That is a big learning point for me :)

Re: Amaya

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 9:29 am
by littleem
Well Amaya, I think you've done amazingly well gradually letting yourself rest, then preparing to paint and then actually starting to paint.

I'm glad it's going 'awesome' - that is so positive!! What is it your painting?

So pleased to hear you had a nice meal, too. I do hope you can work things out with your partner soon. It's positive that you're still spending time together like this though!

I'm glad you've got a good nurse for support. Well done for being productive and getting some shopping done. I have a great CPN too and recently she gave me some very good advice with regards to feeling and dealing with my emotions which I will share with you as perhaps you could apply it to your needing to cry? She said we must allow ourselves to feel before and after whatever event or situation that is affecting us but that we must LIMIT the time we are upset for and follow it with a nice distraction technique. So, allow yourself to cry and get it all out of your system rather than bottling it all up, but then distract yourself with things you like e.g. Painting, calling or going out with a friend, family or your nurse, cooking, going for a walk, music, watch a film, have a hot bath etc. Whatever works for you! And keep sharing how you feel with others. I'm always here to listen, too!

Sorry to hear about the PMS. I used to get that sooooo bad but anorexia stopped all that ten months back. Do you take any tablets for it? There are natural remedies or otherwise pop to your GP and ask for something? Chocolate works wonders, too!

Sorry to hear you've not been sleeping either. There are lots of things that can help with that - exercise, fresh air, establishing a routine, a warm bath and a hot drink before bed, using lavander oil on your temples, massage, relaxation tapes, reading or watching a film before bed, lying in a dark room without the distraction of the bright lights of technology and going easy on the caffeine. Hope some of that helps?

Take care of yourself, Amaya. You really are doing great.

Em xxx

Re: Amaya

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 11:19 am
by rsxo
Hi Amaya,

Welcome to the forumx

Much love <3