Thank you Caro that is really sweet
I know what you mean, I keep going into a feeling that is a lot like shock. Getting really cold and can't warm up, that sort of thing. Being very spaced out. Some of it is the diagnostic process, some of it I just have anyway from the extreme emotions I experience.
EUPD is definitely the nicer name for it. For those of you that don't know Borderline is not a very accurate name for the disorder. Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder is more accurate and sounds nicer, but it is the same illness.
I have traits of EUPD and DPD (dependant personality disorder). Not sure when someone makes a diagnosis official exactly here.. but these two are now sitting on the electronic system along with an unspecified sort of depression.
CPTSD (chronic or complex post traumatic stress disorder) is not officially recorded anywhere, but I know I have it and it is discussed in appointments as if it is a fact and a major contributing factor for the EUPD and DPD.
Until today I had no idea about the DPD so that was a real surprise and I am still just trying to absorb the information.
He thinks I was vulnerable at or from birth, had attachment problems with parents, experienced trauma, and due to these things coupled with my personality I have then developed these two personality disorders.
At different points in my life I have also had a lot of depression, stress and anxiety symptoms, but I feel these really are a product of the underlying causes and not conditions in their own right. As in, I think if I didn't have trauma or PDs they would just fade into the background and stop bothering me.
And I suspected aspergers recently, but I really don't know and this psychologist thinks no. When I asked why he said it was because I made good eye contact, managed to connect with others in relationships and because I had self harmed. I am not sure that these factors would rule out the high functioning female aspergers. But I am not a psychologist.
My biggest question for the psychologist next week is whether the trauma or the PDs need treating first, or will the proposed MBT treatment (mentalisation based therapy, which I do not yet know if I will be offered) be able to address both EUPD, DPD and CPTSD.. or is it just for the EUPD. Because part of me thinks that if the trauma was gone I wouldn't have the PDs. But maybe once you have them they won't go away without treatment.
I have been feeling for a few months now that I am ready to have my trauma dealt with. If the MBT won't help with that I don't know if I can go on living with it whilst doing a year and a half of treatment for the EUPD.
"Today I got my Aspergers diagnosis. I spent the entire appointment crying. I know how you are feeling,because I am going through it too."
Thanks for sharing this. Here is a *hug*. It makes a big difference to me to know that I am not alone.
Will they remove the EUPD diagnosis now? Or will you have them both?
Feel free to come and ramble in my thread anytime xx