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Tell Me Something About You

If you're new and want to say hello...
electr0n1te
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:43 am

Tell Me Something About You

Postby electr0n1te » Mon Nov 28, 2016 6:13 am

Hi, new people! I am pretty new as well, although I used to be a different account on here.
I think we should get to know each other on here, so if you have a story you would like to share, just add it in the reply. 8-) Hopefully this will work. Hoping to hear from you all!

Here are some facts about me:

I am a high-school girl who is a good runner, swimmer, artist, and writer. I love to write poems when I get inspired. You'll probably see a few in the Creativity Corner. I have struggled with a lot of mental illness throughout my life including: situational anxiety, emetophobia, dermatillomania, dissociation, OCD-like symptoms (not diagnosed), and psychosis. I have gotten through pretty much all of it, except for anxiety and psychosis, the latter of which is my newest and main problem. I went on antipsychotics for a while, which got rid of the delusions. Now I am off, and so far it seems I am one of the lucky people who can do that without too much trouble. Another thing is I am not very relateable. If you aren't relateable, the chances are that you relate to me. :mrgreen: People mostly ignore me, which is annoying to say the least. Sometimes people make fun of me for being a "robot." :shock: I don't seem alive on the outside most of the time, but I am fun to those who take the time to know me. I guess I just seem like an odd person, but too normal to be mentally ill (LOL). I'm sure a bunch of you can understand what it's like to be an outcast. Perhaps you don't even fit in with the kids who don't fit in. :|

mezzaninedoor
Posts: 1011
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2015 5:27 pm

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby mezzaninedoor » Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:40 am

I hope you get more from the site than perhaps you did before. Its a nice idea to invite pen pictures of people so i'll add mine in good faith :)

Im 52 (ouch!), work in IT as a Scrum Master, I have had Mental Health illness since I was about 26 dignosed recently with BiPolar. I sing/shout Vox in a punk band called Spewtum, I like writing poetry ( likewise see the Creativity forum ), I especially like comic books and reading and a TV show called 'Doctor Who' & other Sci-Fi. I'm really keen to see politics of Social Justice in the UK and not the backbiting and prejudice we seem to see at the moment. My favourite band is 'the Jam' and my favourite film is 'The Usual Suspects', i support Nottingham Forest FC

As you are aware this is a site that doesn't really have much moderation and I'm sure over time people will make contact with this post though we are all in our own cycles.

I wish you well.

electr0n1te
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:43 am

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby electr0n1te » Tue Nov 29, 2016 4:19 pm

Good to hear from you again! Sounds like you lead an exciting life! 8-) I haven't watched much of Dr. Who, but what I have seen I really like! (I had/have some friends who are fans. Plus, my mom loves it too!)

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby mihaela » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:30 am

Now something about me:

I was diagnosed with autism late in life (due to my own suspicions), after having been idiotically misdiagnosed with avoidant-schizotypal PD. I've suffered enormously because of this late diagnosis. I have the 'female presentation' of Asperger's syndrome, which is a lot more subtle than the classic type and often goes unnoticed by psychiatrists, which means that we suffer more. We are let down badly, and life can be very difficult. We constantly see the world differently - and often as confusing and scary. Along with this, I suffer from extreme sensitivities, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, agoraphobia, OCD, mild dyspraxia, discalculia, isolation and executive dysfunction - the most debilitating of them all. I have lots of coping strategies - some good; some not so good.

On the positive side, I have the typical traits of my type of autism: high empathy, a strong moral sense, honesty, loyalty and a love of animals. On top of all this, I have very high IQ and was a painfully gifted child. (Giftedness always involves autistic traits and can be a mixed blessing). I have very many interests - some of them obsessive. My emotional level makes me naïve, over-trusting and vulnerable to exploitation, harassment and persecution - not just from strangers, but from 'friends' and authorities. Autism is widely misunderstood, but when combined with giftedness even fewer people understand us and we feel very isolated. I feel I have an emotional age of about 12, and an intellectual age of about 1200! This sense of two people in the same body has led to occasional states of dissociation.

If you find all this confusing, imagine how confused I was for most of my life!

electr0n1te
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:43 am

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby electr0n1te » Thu Dec 01, 2016 6:11 pm

Mihaela,

It does sound like you went through a lot of confusion and self-discovery. Good for you finding out you have autism, rather than believing everything psychs say. (I'm not antipsychiatry, but I do my own research rather than taking everything they say as Bible).
:D
I can actually relate to a lot of what you said. I am a completely logic-oriented person, who has a low emotional intelligence (which doesn't matter because I don't have many emotions). I do have a lot of autistic traits, though I doubt I have autism. I'm extremely obsessive, and obsessions can last years, where that's almost all I ever think about.

When you mentioned discalcula, I did not know what that was. I looked it up, and saw it is difficulty with even simple mathematical calculations. That gave me a :shock: moment, because my whole life I have had extreme difficulty with calculations. For an instance, I would have trouble adding even a single digit number to a double digit number. I was homeschooled, so I didn't get bad grades, but I was so behind in math, that when I got tested by the evaluator, I was SIX grade levels behind. When I went to public school, however, I was allowed to use a calculator! :D After that, I became the best student in the class. Still, all my little brothers are better at mental math than me. :cry:

What's most frustrating to me is seeing one of my brothers suffer through school. He goes through the same things I went through with math. I know how to teach him, and I know his potential is so much greater than they think. He isn't stupid. But they refuse to listen to me. They listen to the psych, who says he won't get far in learning. I say to them, "Don't you remember that I went through that, too?" But they think I am full of nonsense. They never thought I had much difficulty, because I get straight As. The only difference is I am a type A personality, and he is a type B. He is content with bad grades. I get frustrated with myself and flip out if I don't get it, until I get it.

But, I guess it is fine, as long as he is happy. :) I just hate they don't listen to me.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1299
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby andthistoomustpass » Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:45 pm

Hi all

I'm male, older than I'd like to be but younger than mezzaninedoor :).
I've had MH issues for a long time.

Main issues now are emotional regulation, depression and anxiety.

I love reading fiction (humourous fiction for preference), watching films (tend to prefer arthouse to blockbusters), and I have a soft spot for science fiction. I like to try new entertainments, from rock gigs to theatre.

Have been in a slump for a while and have lost interest in doing most things. Had a couple of weeks off work, now looking to go back.
Just restarted medication after some years without and I have recently begun therapy.
Last edited by andthistoomustpass on Fri Dec 09, 2016 5:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

scarletohara
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:18 pm

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby scarletohara » Sun Dec 04, 2016 5:33 pm

Hi

I am female and always suffered from some form of anxiety but had a ''breakdown' three years ago, completely recovered and got married then had a baby and in relapse. I want to rejoin choir I go to church but I am not as do-Gooder as that sounds. When I am well I love to laugh, go for meals. Trying to be a good mum but difficult

cathybear
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:11 am

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby cathybear » Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:37 pm

Hello!

I am also very new.. this is my first day checking out these forums!

It's quite nice being able to read about others.. makes everything seem a bit more normal!

I am a final year university student studying psychology (ironically). I have suffered from depression for about 10 years now and have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder as well as social anxiety in more recent years (though I think they were always there but have just come forward more recently). When I was first diagnosed I was in a really really bad place, living in a foreign country where I knew no one outside my immediate family, and attempted suicide a few times.. this is also when I started self-harming. I started having therapy with a psychiatrist but unfortunately she wasn't the right fit for me and it put me off trying counselling again until very very recently. I also suffer from quite a few other health conditions and when I got really ill with all of that I pushed away my depression and anxiety and pretended it wasn't there and ended up blaming all my emotions and thoughts on my physical health issues. I started getting really bad panic attacks as well 2 years ago and started on antidepressants shortly after that. I have been taken to hospital before but continued to refuse help as I thought I would never find the right person to talk to. I only recently decided to start seeing a counsellor in the last month after I had gotten myself into a very dangerous harmful situation. I've actually surprised myself and have found the counselling a lot better than I had anticipated. I have also been pushing myself to be as open and honest as I possibly can in my sessions with her, which goes against all my natural stubborn instincts - but I am grateful that she seems to be a good fit for me. I am still struggling quite a lot and still constantly get overpowered by really bad thoughts and anxiety but I am trying to stick to situations that I know I can cope in and that are time-limited so that I know I can come home afterwards, without isolating myself completely. I am very grateful to have a really supportive close group of friends around me, but I still feel like I can't be completely open and honest with them. I am still in denial that I suffer from mental health illnesses, and will never openly admit it out loud, but I am trying to come to terms with it and accept it. I think by accepting it I will feel more able to get help and try to set myself on the right path for recovery.

I like to think that it comes off to other people in my life that I have a happy personality. I do like to think that I am a happy person, but I am completely weighed down by this dark force that makes me down and anxious and left feeling empty and sad all the time. And I know that's not who I naturally am because I know I want to be a happy person! I love animals, and they are always a great motivator for me. I have two dogs, one which we rescued when I was in a really bad place so I think of her as my little mascot. I saved her and now she is saving me. If I am feeling down or anxious she is normally there to give me cuddles or make sure I am safe. I've started keeping her in my room at night recently because it helps to reduce panic attacks more and it seems to keep me safer and stop me from doing harmful things even when I really feel the need to. So I am extremely grateful to have her.

Lots of love and hugs to everyone else and I think you are all so brave and courageous for sharing your stories and thoughts! If anyone ever needs a chat please let me know as I am always willing to be a listening ear xxx

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby mihaela » Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:02 am

Hello Cathybear, and welcome to the forum. Much of what you say applies to me too. I'm seen by all as a happy person, but my closest friends know that I'm really rather melancholic. I reserve most of my happiness for when I'm with others. I've gave up trying to pretend that I'm something that I'm not when I discovered I was on the autism spectrum. It made everything in my make sense - even my physical oddities - eating disorders and sensitivities. I'm no longer ashamed of telling anyone about why I am the way I am, and the stress of constantly having to pretend has gone.

I'm so glad that your new therapist is helping you. Trust in a therapist is so important, and some are a lot better than others. To confide in someone needs a two-way trust. Some don't care at all, some genuinely care, and the best ones are those who don't get paid to do it and can spend as much time with you as you need. These become friends who truly understand and care for you. It's a rare gift, and such people are few.

My animals have also meant a lot to me. They too are a form of therapy, and I wouldn't dream of not letting my cats sleep with me. Like you, I feel they protect me. I fear the dark and people getting into the house. When I'm at my lowest they give me an incentive to live, for I'm responsible for them.

You sound a very caring person, and you're studying the right subject too! It's good to have you here. x

cathybear
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:11 am

Re: Tell Me Something About You

Postby cathybear » Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:36 am

Hi Mihaela

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply! It was so nice reading something so supportive and relatable.

I think a lot of the time it is easier to come off happier than we feel, and we are more likely to use up as much of our emotional energy when we are around others than when we are safely by ourselves or in an environment where you can completely let go. I often come home after one lecture at uni and just have to make a cup of tea and snuggle up by myself and not talk to anyone because I just need to be able to take a massive deep breath. I also find that I am always so concerned about how others are doing or feeling that I am more focused on putting all my energy into making them happy rather than thinking of how I actually feel in that situation.

Being diagnosed can be really helpful! It is definitely not something you should be ashamed of and it isn't something that should define your value or who you are as a person. Having a diagnosis can really help explain why you've been feeling how you have or why you behave in certain ways that you do, which can therefore start helping you cope in ways that you might not have done before! You are you, and that is more than good enough!

Yes, it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable enough with a therapist to be able to be open enough to talk about everything that is going on inside of me. I have my next session on Thursday and I really feel like I need it this week! She is very understanding and seems to just get me, even when I feel like I don't know how to express what I am feeling, and I do believe she does care genuinely rather than just because it is her job.

I think I must have been having a bit better of an evening last night when I wrote that because I am feeling extremely down and lonely and scared tonight.. Luckily though again I have my dog with me to keep me safe because otherwise I would be really worried as to what I might do to myself.
It is so lovely to hear that you also feel your animals give you an incentive to live. I feel the exact same, they give me some more purpose to my life, and often if I feel really bad I always think of how my dog would feel if I never came home or wasn't around anymore. She needs me just as much as I need her.

Sorry for such a long post back! It made me feel better reading your reply and hearing you share some of your own life. Look forward to hearing from you again soon xx


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