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SANE Support Forum

Welcome!

If you're new and want to say hello...
ken1
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:01 pm

Re: Welcome!

Postby ken1 » Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:51 pm

Hello, SANE.
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and a sleep disorder for as long as I can remember. I attempted suicide in November 2011.
I joined up today because I'm struggling a little, and I don't know who to talk to. I'm very blessed: I have a supportive wife and daughter, and they do their best to understand. But I know they don't - can't - fully understand.
I don't sleep well (even on 7.5mg Zopiclone), and that affects my mood. My mood affects my sleep. And it goes around and around, the one affecting the other.
I feel anxious today because I find it difficult to plan my life: I look ahead but worry if I'll have the energy or be well enough to cope.
Thank-you for being there.

zoovey
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:18 pm
Contact:

Re: Welcome!

Postby zoovey » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:31 pm

Hey, I recently had a fellow loved person in my life suffer depression. I'm here to listen and be able to support anyone possible, as I understand the difficulty and pain the love of my life has to go through on a daily basis. You can call me Zoovey or Nick :)

inot73
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:53 am

Re: Welcome!

Postby inot73 » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:02 pm

Hi i am a newbie to this forum, and i found it following an email i got from Blurt Foundation. Didnt realise you guys existed but now i do.

I am apart of a group on Facebook with local people who suffer from depression and anxiety. but i thought it would be nice to have somewhere else i can rant where people are less likely to know who i am.

I have suffered from depression for over 10 years but since 2013 it has gotten worse and now suffer from anxiety too. so much so that i sometimes can't leave the house. In 2013 my husband left me a week before my 40th birthday after almost 14 years of marriage, needless to say i was crushed. I have battled to get back on top and now feel better than i did then, but its the anxiety that is causing me concern just now. It raises it head without notice and can be very delibitating. Hopefully this group will help to keep me sane :D.

i look forward to "meeting" you guys

philsphilms
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2017 2:20 pm

Re: Welcome!

Postby philsphilms » Fri Apr 07, 2017 2:34 pm

Hello anyone out there. I am new to this. I know I need to see a Psychiatrist, but when I am with my GP I can convince her I'm fine. But I'm not. I've just been through a life changing episode, entirely my fault and was bewildered by what I did and the consequences to my family. Based on what I have read I think it is Borderline Personality Disorder which I have probably had for most of my 66 years here. But really, I don't know. I know my personality was useful in business, but a disaster for the girl I have loved and been with for 45+ years, who now doesn't know me, or want to know me.
Suicide is tempting, but not an option. Any route there will cause trauma to others (loved ones identifying the body, train driver traumatised, person finding you probably affected for life.)
But the overwhelming desire to go to bed, go to sleep and never wake up seems constantly there.

christabel
Posts: 1923
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Welcome!

Postby christabel » Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:44 pm

Hi philsphilms

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you have been having a rough time.

It might be best if you started a new thread as your post could be overlooked easily on this one.

Hope you find the forum helpful. Be st wishes. Chris.

Jacks2005
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:07 pm

Re: Welcome!

Postby Jacks2005 » Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:22 pm

Hi, First time I have really used a forum.
I've had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember but always managed to work through it and keep my happy face mask on up until 2.5 years ago when my brain just shut down and I ended up in hospital.
A few suicide attempts under my belt following an increasingly violent second marriage.
Specialist diagnosed complex PTSD but local psychiatrist won't change his diagnosis from BPD and took me off his books about 6 months ago basically because I hadn't ended up in hospital for 6 months and so must be better!
Unable to work due mainly to the exhaustion, dissociations and panic attacks but when I last saw my Dr she said that I had been off work long enough now and it was time to go back...didn't ask how my symptoms were though.
Now very anxious about having to work with people again as I have lashed out at people who have startled me in the past...what if it happens again?
I would like to be able to work for/by myself, e.g. Dog walking, but as I am completely exhausted most of the time I don't think I could do this yet.
Feeling trapped.

Feels good to get that out xxx

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Welcome!

Postby mihaela » Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:41 pm

Hello and welcome!

Jacks2005 wrote:Hi, First time I have really used a forum.
I've had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember but always managed to work through it and keep my happy face mask on up until 2.5 years ago...


This sounds so much like myself.

Specialist diagnosed complex PTSD but local psychiatrist won't change his diagnosis from BPD and took me off his books about 6 months ago basically because I hadn't ended up in hospital for 6 months and so must be better!


This is so wrong, yet quite typical. If you've been diagnosed with C-PTSD you're lucky, for most specailists have probably still not even heard of it. It's been said that being on the autism spectrum is like having permanent PTSD, and I can't argue with that.

Professional arrogance prevents 'experts' from admitting that their diagnoses may be wrong. BPD is the classic diagnosis that generic psychiatrists give to women when they can't quite pin down the problem, so classic that I'm assuming you're a woman. Often this is because they are untrained in recognising female-type Asperger's (which I have, and I too, have had various misdiagnoses over the years). I was similarly taken off their books, and they didn't even have the decency to let me know. Their behaviour made my health get worse, until a stranger appeared out of the blue and began to support me. I simply can't manage without that support, and it weren't for him I'd probably have ended my life by now, for the NHS were criminally negligent.

Unable to work due mainly to the exhaustion, dissociations and panic attacks but when I last saw my Dr she said that I had been off work long enough now and it was time to go back...didn't ask how my symptoms were though.


Same here. It was me who discovered that I had HF autism, and eventually I got a diagnosis. Thousands of women suffer because we get misdiagnosed or slip through the net, for the traits are quite different to classic Asperger's. Exhaustion, dissociation and panic attacks are all part of it, and don't ever expect a GP to understand. Mine laughed at me when I asked for a referral over suspected AS. We get exhausted trying to mask our traits, and so to recover we need time to ourselves. We're good at pretending to be 'normal', but it's hard work.

Now very anxious about having to work with people again as I have lashed out at people who have startled me in the past...what if it happens again?


I understand completely, and I have friends who are just the same - all with AS. Work situations can be a nightmare for us, especially the social side of work.

I would like to be able to work for/by myself, e.g. Dog walking, but as I am completely exhausted most of the time I don't think I could do this yet.


Yes! That could be said of all women with AS, and lots of men too. We like our own company, and often get on better with animals than with people. We can take most people in small doses, and usually they don't understand us - and that includes most psychiatrists who know next to nothing about adult autism, especially in females.

Hope this helps. I'm not saying you have what I have, but from all you say there's nothing to suggest you haven't. It came as a great relief to me.

jackboy
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:25 pm

Re: Welcome!

Postby jackboy » Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:30 pm

Hello everyone :)

briar
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 08, 2017 3:01 pm

Re: Welcome!

Postby briar » Mon May 08, 2017 4:01 pm

Not entirely sure what to put but here goes...

I've been suffering with severe depression since I was roughly 13 - almost half my life. I've made several suicide attempts and I've never been able to maintain a romantic relationship for more than a few months or a friendship for more than a year or two. Although I initially seem very confident and sociable and 'cool' on the outside I think people once people get close and I let my guard down, or by mistake, and they see my highly volatile emotions, constant suicidal thoughts, anger, loneliness, paranoia and strange behaviour they either fade away, cut me out or outright say I'm toxic and I need help. Even if it's not straight away it always ends the same and although I used to have a high self esteem it's now constantly taking a battering and I see myself as a more boring and shitty version of my old self every day. It's hard to find people who genuinely understand that it's not something I can snap out of and I would give everything to not feel like this but I feel constantly betrayed by my own brain overriding my efforts.

I've been trying to get help for over 10 years now through various different channels but as I'm sure many of you are aware getting help through your GP can be next to impossible; after I came back from trying to kill myself in America at 22 I was put on the urgent list for therapy. I chased them up every couple of months. I'm almost 25 and still chasing. I had a breakdown when I was 17 after an abusive relationship and started using weed as a coping mechanism. I also started getting repressed memories about sexual abuse in my early teens while I was in university - where I made my sole surviving friend but certainly a lot more enemies. I realise I need to change but I don't know how, and the constant rejection is more than I can handle. I recently felt myself having another break while abroad after experiencing a huge emotional rejection and I realised I simply could not this any more or I will be doing this forever. I can't put myself forward for jobs and develop the skills I need, when work was the only thing I had keeping me going. I'm finding it harder and harder to find joy in anything - I'm just focused on making it through the next minute/hour/day. I went to the GP again and they said I might actually be dealing with BPD with Anxiety and Depression. I felt better for a day or two thinking that this might actually mean I get the help I need but now it's been over a week waiting for an ADAPT assessment appointment and I'm fast losing hope I'll ever get better. I feel like it's just the same process over and over.

brucey88
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 10, 2017 2:03 pm

HI!

Postby brucey88 » Wed May 10, 2017 2:56 pm

Hi there,

Found you guys through a side panel on our University page on Counselling and Wellbeing. Glad I found it. Looks like a great website!

Brucey comes form my last name but Laura will be fine too!

Been a depression and anxiety sufferer for goodness knows how long but I was only diagnosed back in Nov 2011. End of 2014/beginning of 2015 was my lowest point with another low in February 2016. This resulted in attempts on my own life and being hospitalised every time.

Whilst now in a loving relationship with huge amounts of support, my fiancé can not (will admit that he doesn't) understand everything in my head. But by goodness does he try. Never really been part of a support forum or anything before for this so as it was a suggestion from uni, why not?!

Plus struggling a little at the moment as the Scottish NHS is really making life hard at the moment and not making things easy for me being on my nursing course so feeling pretty low about the whole situation.

Laura


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